Many websites are doing March Madness-style brackets to declare the Best Drama Series of All-Time or the Best Sitcom Episode Ever. We’re getting into the fun, too, BUT BIGGER. This is our power rankings of the greatest seasons from nine of our favorite networks. Here’s how we did it:
1) We looked at the schedule for every season for ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox, HBO, Showtime, AMC, FX, and Comedy Central (sorry, WB/UPN/CW!), ranging from the 1950s to the present, and chose the best overall one for each. (For network channels, we did 2011-2012; for cable, just a single year, like 2011. That’s just how they work.) We put into account not only the fact that, for example, “Cheers” was on, but whether “Cheers” was any good in that particular season.
2) We then compared the best season of each network against the best seasons of the other eight networks, to decide if, say, Showtime’s best year is better than Fox’s best year. (HINT: it’s not.)
No time for any more jabbering and/or jabbering. Place your bets now, ‘cause here we go.
Saturday Night Live (NBC, Saturday) – Lindsay Lohan hosts. Maybe. I mean, there’s at least a chance she just doesn’t show up, right? All I’m saying is that if I was Lorne Michaels, I’d have Tara Reid on standby. You’d barely even have to change the jokes. (Musical guest Jack White.)
Blue Bloods (CBS, Friday) – The 16th most popular show in America airs at 10 p.m. on a Friday night. We, as a country, need to get out more.
The Fast and the Furious (Bravo, Friday) – Over the past year or so, I’ve become fascinated by cable channels playing movies that seemingly have nothing to do with the rest of the shows on their schedule. (Previous example – CMT playing Dangerous Minds.) An action movie about street racing airing on a channel mostly aimed at women and gay men falls squarely into that category.
GCB (ABC, Sunday) – Series premiere. The show stars Leslie Bibb (Talledega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby) and is based on the book Good Christian Bitches. I wonder what “GCB” stands for. Probably something like “Great College Bands” or “Giant California Boas.” Welp, I guess we’ll never know.
The Good Wife (CBS, Sunday) – Josh Charles has one hell of a schnoz.
The Walking Dead (AMC, Sunday) – You can either watch this episode on Sunday night, or just go to the AMC website between now and then to see if they’ll just tell you what’s going to happen. Could be a real timesaver.
Luck/Eastbound & Down/Life’s Too Short (HBO, Sunday) – I’m going to be very sad when “Eastbound and Down” is over for good. Treasure it while you can, people.
Shameless/House of Lies/Californication (Showtime, Sunday) – Showtime is a network I really appreciate. The shows they’ve created over the years, I don’t really watch them. But the fact that they’re making them? I respect that.
Showtime announced on Thursday (February 2) that [Michael] Sheen will play William Masters and [Lizzy] Caplan will be Virginia Johnson in “Masters of Sex,” which focuses on the “human sexuality pioneers.”
Masters and Johnson began their research at Washington University in 1957, culminating in the publication of the seminal — pun horribly intended — texts “Human Sexual Response” and “Human Sexual Inadequacy,” published in 1966 and 1970. The Showtime series is an adaptation of Thomas Maier’s “Masters of Sex: The Life and Times of William Masters and Virginia Johnson, The Couple Who Taught America How To Love.” [HitFix]
Lots of news stories out there today. Let’s mow them all down real quick-like, shall we?
Bill Murray helped Letterman celebrate his 30th anniversary – The 61-year-old comedy legend appeared on the show in shoulder pads and eye black, brought Dave a cupcake, and kicked a field goal in the middle of the street. Also, he posed for a picture with the musical act — nine member, all-girl Korean pop group Girls’ Generation (pictured, via Alex Ogle). For any further analysis, please consult the headline of this post. [Uproxx]
RIP Don Cornelius – The longtime “Soul Train” host died today at 75, of what appears to be a self-inflicted gunshot wound. Cajun Boy has a really nice obit at the Uproxx main page. [Uproxx]
Snooki is either pregnant or not pregnant – You are very welcome for that in-depth and informative medical analysis. That will be $100000000000000000000. (NOTE: I refuse to cover this story any further. I’m prepared to hand in my resignation if it comes to it.) (SECOND NOTE: My resignation letter is a paper plate with the words “I QWIT” spelled out on it in macaroni.) [NY Post]
Everybody on “X Factor” got fired – This week, the show sh-tcanned host Steve Jones, as well as judges Nicole Scherzinger and Paula Abdul. My recommendation for their replacements: Me as the host, and Ghostface Killah and a koala wearing a top hat as judges. Ratings gold. [NY Times]
Showtime remains committed to quality television, nudity – The premium network renewed “House of Lies,” “Shameless,” and “Californication” today. Sometimes I feel like HBO, Starz, and Showtime are in an arms race to see who can get the most nudity on TV. Arms may have been the wrong body part for that analogy. I’ll go crunch some numbers and get back to you. [Deadline]
MOST IMPORTANT BREAKING CHEESEBURGER NEWS – Kate Upton is the new spokesperson for Hardees and Carl’s, Jr. OM NOM, indeed. [With Leather]
YA BOY – The first preview for Channing Tatum’s SNL appearance is after the jump. I’m always depressed when he opens his mouth and he doesn’t sound like Burnsy’s version of him.
“House of Lies” debuted last night on Showtime. In short, it’s one of those shows where the cast is so good that you want to forgive its many faults in the hopes that the writing eventually catches up to the performances. The premiere episode couldn’t manage that feat, offering an uneven and often clumsy introduction to a series about management consultants.
Don Cheadle is the lead, Marty Kaan, a self-loathing but confident charmer who opens the episode by waking up on his ex-wife’s bare ass after a night of mistake sex. We’re soon introduced to Kaan’s family: A controlling, disapproving father and an adolescent son who wears a skirt and is vying to be Sandy in his school’s production of Grease. Later in the episode, we find out that Kaan’s ex-wife (Dawn Olivieri) also heads the number one management consultant firm (to Marty’s number two), setting up what looks to be a series-long rivalry between the firms.
Kristen Bell is Jeannie Van Der Hooven, one of three junior members of the firm. It’s her job, apparently, to give Marty his reality checks and fend off his sexual advances. Josh Lawson and Ben Schwartz (“Parks and Recreation’s” Jean-Ralphio) round out the cast as the other two junior members, whose roles within the firm aren’t particularly well fleshed out in the pilot.
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