Southland (TNT) — I know we’re all about “Justified” here on WarmingGlow, and for good reason, but I thought we’d give some header love to “Southland,” which is probably the best television drama you’re not watching. It’s a slice-of-life cop drama, the anti-procedural, and it’s brilliant and dark and Regina King is television’s most unsung actress. Start from the beginning or jump in tonight. Whatever you do, find it. It’s outstanding.

Justified (FX) — Tonight’s episode is more episodic than serial in nature, as Raylan tracks down two prisoners on the run while Boyd turns on someone in the inner circle. Check back tomorrow for Danger’s discussion post, and maybe Jon Worley will drop by again and tell you how all your hunches are wrong.

Parenthood (NBC) — Another fantastic, underappreciated drama, this one from Jason Katims, who also brought us “Friday Nights” (which explains why a lot of the actors who have appeared in both). Peter Krause directed tonight’s episode, so it will probably be double heart-warming. Bring tissues, fellas.

The River (ABC) — Two-hour series premiere. This is a thriller about a trip to the Amazon river to find a missing adventurer. It was either pushed back to mid-season because it’s not very good, or because it’s great and doesn’t appeal to a large audience. I personally hope it’s the former because my Tuesday doesn’t need another hour-long drama. Reviews so far, however, have been positive.

The New Girl (FOX) — I think we should all start mis-using the term “Adorkable,” applying it only to decidedly masculine things. Hopefully, by May we can mangle it so badly that it’s eradicated from our cultural lexicon.

LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Letterman has Denzel and The Fray, which was a band manufactured by trailer editors to create music for sappy films. Leno has Chelsea Handler (two reasons not to watch!), Damon Wayans, Jr. and Michelle Williams are on Kimmel, Ferguson has Kenneth Branaugh, and Fallon has on The Cranberries. I heard their new song on the radio the other day and I thought I fell into a wormhole that took me back to 1992.

Justified (FX) – Raylan takes on Oxycontin dealers and presumably shoots one or more of them in the chest and/or face. I love this show. (HEY YOU! Go reread my Q&A with “Justified” writer Jon Worley.)

Tosh.0/Key & Peele (Comedy Central) – Season premiere of Tosh, and series premiere of “Key & Peele,” a new sketch show. Sorry guys, not while Raylan’s shooting people. Priorities.

Southland (TNT) – I have never seen this show, but I have heard it’s good, and people get angry when I don’t include it. Here you go. Please do not yell at me.

Inside the Actor’s Studio (Bravo) – George Clooney is the guest. Sometimes I forget George Clooney is an actor. I just think of him as this awesome rich guy who goes to award shows in expensive suits with attractive ladies on his arm. Like Brody Jenner, but with redeeming qualities and a soul.

Glee (FOX) – Tonight’s episode is Michael Jackson-themed. The video for “Jam” was awesome. I would have forfeited 10% of my future earnings to be in a warehouse with Heavy D and Kriss Kross watching Michael Jackson try to play basketball against Michael Jordan. (Video after the jump.)

Celebrity Wife Swap (ABC) – Former WWE wrestler Mick Foley and soap opera actor Antonio Sabato, Jr. swap wives. No two people on Earth are less alike than Mick Foley and Antonio Sabato, Jr.

Ink Master (Spike) – From TV Guide: “A head tattoo causes a fight; naked women appear in the competition; a third artist is eliminated.” This is, without a shadow of a doubt, the best possible sentence.

LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Tonight, Leno has Michelle Obama and Mark Harmon from “NCIS.” Letterman, on the other hand, has Bill Murray and Girls’ Generation, a nine member, all girl Korean pop group (who has been discussed on the Uproxx network before). This is what we in the television community refer to as “effective counterprogramming.”

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Justified (FX) – Carla Gugino is on tonight’s episode. After the events of last week, please be advised that the Boyd Crowder Hair Threat Level has been temporarily upgraded from Unruly to Partial Electrocution. (NOTE: I have attached six more promo shots of Carla Gugino’s appearance to this post. You are all quite welcome.)

State of the Union Address (Every channel) – Presidents always invite inspirational figures or people who overcame adversity and have them sit up in the box with the First Lady. If I was president, I would put a koala in a little tiny tuxedo up there. YOUR MOVE, POLITICAL OPPONENTS.

Southland (TNT) – Tonight’s episode features a guest spot by Marla Gibbs, who played Florence on “The Jeffersons.” This is as good a reason as any to link to this video of Sherman Hemsley dancing.

Chopped (Food Network) – Four previous runners-up have to incorporate root beer schnapps and sweetbreads into their dishes. FUN FACT: I am typing this sentence while making my icky face.

White Collar (USA) – Yesterday was Tiffani Thiessen’s birthday. I can’t believe Uproxx made me work. WHAT DO WE WANT? Holidays based on the birthdays of celebrities we used to have crushes on! WHEN DO WE WANT IT? Preferably by Britney Spears’ birthday in early December!

LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Elizabeth Banks and Ben McKenzie (Ryan from “The O.C.”) on Kimmel, and Sam Worthington and a whip-cracking champion named Adam Winrich on Conan. Everyone else is in repeats, but Tina Fey is on Letterman, and it’s the episode of Ferguson that they taped in Paris, if you’re so inclined.

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Southland (TNT) — Season finale. Possibly the series finale, depending on whether or not TNT renews it by June.

Parenthood (NBC) — Minka Kelly guest stars. Ordinarily, that might be enough to make me watch, but I’ve got “Lost” and “Justified” to watch, plus I still haven’t watched Sunday’s “Breaking Bad.” I’ve got priorities.

American Idol (Fox) — The worst collection of “Idol” talent in years — maybe ever — gathers to butcher your favorite John Lennon and Paul McCartney songs.

Millionaire Matchmaker (Bravo) — Anyone who watches this instead of “Justified” should be sentenced to have sex with Patti Stanger. Oh, don’t worry — if they’re watching this show, they’re already gay.

Dancing with the Stars (ABC) — My parents were telling me about how terrible Buzz Aldrin is at dancing. Yeah, ya think? The man’s 84 years old! Have you seen octogenarians walk? Somehow I’m not surprised he hasn’t mastered the foxtrot.

Being John Daly (Golf) — This is the first and only show on the Golf Channel that has ever remotely interested me.

Lost (ABC) — I went to the Knitting Factory (in the hipster Mecca of Williamsburg, Brooklyn) last weekend to see a friend’s band perform. While there, I saw signs for something called “Lost: The Final Season Therapy Sessions.” That’s right: there’s a gathering for people who are both hipsters AND Losties. Try to read this report from the event without absentmindedly building a pipe bomb. Below: a fun image sequence from last week’s episode.

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I was kind of bummed that NBC canceled “Southland.” The show wasn’t groundbreaking, but it was a perfectly good cop drama that didn’t have any frills or pull any punches. As one commenter pointed out, it seemed like a worthy successor to “Hill Street Blues.”

Now that the show is looking for a home elsewhere — most likely TNT — details are coming out about the already-produced first six episodes of the second season, and it turns out NBC didn’t have room for the show because it was too awesome dark.

[T]he first episode of the second season was apparently going to open with a scene in which a convict defecates, or is stabbed and bleeds slowly to death – or both.

While this might have been a great way to warm up an audience at 10 o’clock for those Gas Pipe Explosion Slays 6 stories with which local TV stations like to lead off their 11 p.m. newcasts, it would have been a bit a mood killer for what was to have been “Southland’s” new lead-out program on Friday nights — Jay Leno’s comedy talk show.

Well well well. Yet another thing that just so happens to be Jay Leno’s fault. As if undercutting Conan O’Brien and burning down that orphanage weren’t enough, Leno also has to kill off promising shows. What? Evidence? I need evidence to accuse someone of burning down orphanages now? Sheesh. The Internet was so much cooler before lawyers discovered it.