You might have thought that 2001 was the year that television hit bottom. It did introduce “Survivor” (which would launch the reality-competition genre) and “Fear Factor,” a show that involved people doing dangerous and/or disgusting things for cash prizes. Or maybe you thought it was 2002, when “The Bachelor” popularized the idea of essentially building a show around men and women trying to have sex in exchange for fleeting, low-level fame. Maybe you thought it was 2008, when Howie Mandel launched a game show, “Deal or No Deal,” with no comprehensible rules. Or maybe you thought it was 2010, when some dumbass had the bright idea to give professional douchebag, Guy Fieri, a game show (“Minute to Win It”) involving people tasked with doing retarded things in under 60 seconds in exchange for money.

While all those were dark, dark days in the history of network television, none may be darker than 2012, the year that CW introduced to primetime television a gameshow competition involving . . . musical chairs.

The CW has ordered the competition show “Oh Sit!,” in which contestants will play amped-up musical chairs while hopped up on Red Bull, accompanied by a live band.

And you know what? It’ll probably be a huge hit, and when it is, even President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho will shake his head and think, “At least ‘Ow My Balls’ had a creative element to it. This? This is just idiotic.”

Wow, with natural beauties like this on “America’s Next Top Model,” I can’t believe that none of the show’s winners have gone on to become world-famous supermodels.

[image via -- warning: sound auto-plays]

The CW has canceled “H8R,” the Mario Lopez-hosted confrontation show that put down “haters” — average, non-famous people — in order to defend human garbage like Kim Kardashian, Scott Disick (pictured), Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis, and “Bachelor” star Jake Pavelka.

Perhaps if “H8R” had forced its celebrities to confront and acknowledge WHY people hate them, if it had brought wealthy fame whores like Snooki down a peg, it might have been a success. But it didn’t do that. The show existed to fluff the celebrities and put down the little plebes who didn’t achieve fame through a reality show. The message was clear: celebrities should ONLY be adored for the mere fact that they’re FAMOUS, and SCREW YOU if you have the temerity to express a negative opinion of them.

It wasn’t merely a bad show, it was idiotically tone-deaf — a crass, stupid, insulting middle finger at a nation of people already struggling to get by and angry at the wealthy elite. The people responsible for “H8R” should be dragged out onto Wall Street and kicked in the ribs by an angry mob until their bones turn to jelly.

So, this is a real thing that is happening in our world:

The CW is developing unscripted format “Extreme Musical Chairs” from the Gurin Co. and 405 Prods.

Series would transform the popular children’s game into a physically demanding competition with multiple rounds of elimination set in an indoor obstacle course. [Variety]

Brilliant work, Hollywood. Take the rest of the day off. But when you come back tomorrow, I expect full crayon mock-ups for “Extreme Heads Up Seven Up,” “Can You Jump Rope Better Than a 5th Grader?” and “Pin the Tail on the Actual Donkey.”

Yesterday afternoon, news broke that the CW would re-make the late-’80s CBS show “Beauty and the Beast,” a tale of two actors (Ron Perlman and Linda Hamilton) who would go on to take take badass roles in better projects. That news comes on the heels of ABC’s announcement to make an hour-long drama from the French fairy tale (you may remember that parent company Disney had a modestly successful animated film about the story), which will join the ever-growing list of fairy tale-based shows like “Grimm” (NBC) and “Once Upon a Time” (ABC again) that debut this fall.

But will this be enough to satisfy our ever-increasing demands for Beauty and the Beast stories? How can we say that we were sated by Beastly if we know that Guillermo del Toro is making a Beauty and the Beast movie with Emma Watson? When will we have enough retellings of the same story?

NEVER! I, for one, won’t be satisfied until ALL networks have Beauty and the Beast-inspired programming. CBS can make “CSI: Beauty and the Beast,” in which a beautiful female detective is drawn to disfigured but sensitive forensics analyst. NBC can make a smart ensemble comedy that nobody watches. VH1 can make a Beauty and the Beast reality dating show — although technically they kind of already did that with Flavor Flav and Bret Michaels. Still, they could take beautiful women (who say they’ve been mistreated by jerks and just want a “nice” guy) vie for the love of a Beast. OR a group of ugly, sensitive men could try to win the heart of a bikini model.

Please, Hollywood executives. Don’t listen to complaints that you’re devoid of new ideas and creatively bankrupt. I DEMAND MORE BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. THIS IS A THIRST THAT CANNOT BE QUENCHED.

P.S. Someone CC: Bravo on this video. They’re gonna need a gay version. “Beauty and the Bear,” maybe.

UPDATE: Now with video!

The series premiere of “Ringer” aired last night, and although it garnered decent ratings for the CW’s standards, it was obvious to anyone who watched it that this was a show developed for CBS consigned to little sister CW with the hopes that “Buffy” star Sarah Michelle Gellar would be enough to counter the show’s shoddy craftsmanship.

There are holes at every level in “Ringer” — from writing to directing to acting to probably even the on-set catering — but none so glaring as the lackluster effort put into the green screen effect in the scene where Siobhan and Bridget (twins played by Gellar) venture out to sea in Siobhan’s boat. It looks like they used the special effects technicians from “Gilligan’s Island.”

On the next few pages, I have more screen caps of “Ringer’s” terrible use of green screen. See if you can tell which ones I’ve edited in Photoshop!

ART.

Ringer (CW) — Series premiere. Sarah Michelle Gellar returns to the CW with a dual role as twin sisters: wealthy socialite Siobhan and ex-stripper/recovering drug addict Bridget. Bridget is wanted by the mob because she witnessed a murder, so she seeks help from her wealthy sister, who then “dies” in a boating accident. Bridget then covers up Siobhan’s death and assumes her identity, except — *TWIST* — Siobhan faked her death and moved to Paris because her life was in danger, too! Without having seen the pilot, I give this four out of five DERPS.

Parenthood (NBC) — Season premiere. NBC’s moderately successful tearjearker returns with Jason Ritter (“The Event”) returning to the cast. For those scoring at home: Krysten Ritter > John Ritter > apple fritter > Jason Ritter.

90210 (CW) — Season premiere. If paparazzi photos are to be believed, this season is all about Annalynne McCord wearing bikinis and getting egged and doused with slime. I don’t disapprove.

Sons of Anarchy (FX) — I of course very much enjoy this show, but I’m worried by how much the plot hinges on people keeping secrets every season. Characters on telenovelas have fewer secrets to hide than this outlaw biker gang. That’s worrisome.

Big Sexy (TLC) — Season finale. No joke, the final episode of the season is a bunch of fat ladies doing a bikini photo shoot. So enticing! How could I possibly not watch? I sure hope this gets renewed!

Batten the hatches. Lock the windows. Unplug all electronic devices. Stock up on fresh water and canned food, then head to the nearest bomb shelter. The CW is making the long-rumored “Sex and the City” prequel.

The young-skewing network is moving forward with the project based on The Carrie Diaries, the book series written by Sex and the City author Candace Bushnell that follows Carrie Bradshaw during her senior year of high school in the early 1980s…

The first book in Bushnell’s origin story was published last year and, like Sex and the City, is told from Carrie’s point of view. It follows the aspiring writer through her relationship with Sebastian Kydd and rivalry with popular girl Donna LaDonna. [THR]

Say what you will about the original “Sex and the City” — and I’ve said lots of bad things — at least it took a relatively new angle on the “professional women balancing work and love” story. A high school-based prequel is just going to be “Gossip Girl” on the network that already airs “Gossip Girl” and a rebooted “90210.” Which is to say: it will be a huge success. Ugh. If you’ll excuse me, I have pallets of canned tuna to buy.

Riding high on the success of Vampire Diaries, the WB CW has the hype machine running full speed for its latest teen super-powers-as-a-metaphor-for-diversity-parable, The Secret Circle, which debuts on September 15. The show is based on the book series from author L.J. Smith, who also did pretty well as my fantasy football tight end a few seasons ago.

So what, pray tell, is the story behind this teen romance fantasy series that makes it any different from all the others?

Circle (which is executive-produced by Vampire Diaries boss Kevin Williamson) centers on Cassie (played by Robertson), a teen who is forced by tragedy to leave behind her life in California for the mysterious Chance Harbor, Wash. There, she discovers that both she and her new group of friends — among them, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles‘ Thomas Dekker, Days of Our Lives alum Shelley Hennig and Australian starlet Phoebe Tonkin — are in fact witches. (Via TV Line)

Ah yes, this one is about witches… who attend high school in the Pacific Northwest. Huge difference.

The network released a teaser at Comic Con to get the geek hormones fired up, and I’m not gonna lie – this cast has some serious potential. Britt Robertson plays the lead witch – the reluctant sorceress, if you will – and I have no clue who she is. But the always wonderful Natasha Henstridge is playing the principal, and former Miss Teen USA Shelley Hennig is a witch, too. Also, Phoebe Tonkin is fresh off the boat from Australia and she seems nice. In all, this may deserve at least a viewing on mute.

After the jump, check out the new promo character posters, as well as the Comic Con teaser.

Last week I posted brief synopses of the four new shows that the CW is adding to its schedule next year, and while I thought they sounded terrible, I didn’t realize they’d be THIS awful. Above is a preview clip for “H8R,” in which Snooki confronts a guy who can’t stand her. And mostly he just stands there with a dumb look on his face while Snooki jabbers on and Mario Lopez laughs at him. It’s infuriating. I want the hater to break a pool cue over Snooki’s head, not stand there and take a tongue-lashing from an Oompa Loompa.

On the next pages I’ve got previews for “Ringer” and “Hart of Dixie,” which both look awful, but at least they look awful in more entertaining ways. (The CW’s other new show, “Secret Circle,” had a six-minute preview, but the CW pulled it out of respect for their viewers for copyright infringement.)

I’ll warn you up front: this is three minutes of your life that you’ll never get back. The trailer tries to come off as dark and moody and mysterious, but mostly it’s just dull — until the 2:25 mark, when Sarah Michelle Gellar talks into the mirror as if it’s her twin. That’s when it becomes so hackneyed and cliché that it crosses over into funny.

I love Rachel Bilson. I look forward to the day that we’re married, so that I can advise her against taking projects like this.