Courtesy of Burnsy

In 1976, NBC unveiled a new logo to replace their ubiquitous peacock. It was fancy-looking N made up of two trapezoids, and it cost more than $600,000 to develop. Thing is, a Nebraska PBS affiliate already had a similar-looking logo — which only cost $100 to design. To avoid a lawsuit, NBC paid a $1 million package to the Nebraska station, along with another $55,000 to, according to Mental Floss, “pay for the costs related to not only the legal battle, but the development and implementation of a new logo.”

Moral of the story: NBC has been a screw-up for years; it’s only become particularly noticeable in the network’s awkward post-”Seinfeld”/”Friends”/”E.R”-era. And that sucks, because they’ve aired some of the best TV shows of all-time. That’s why they’re so easy to pick on: we tease because we love. Here are 12 reasons why NBC is in last place amongst the Big Four, with some helpful advice, too.

NBC would also like me to remind you to WATCH “SMASH,” THE MONDAY AFTER THE SUPER BOWL, in case you haven’t seen the ads for the show every three seconds for the last two months.

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Work It (ABC) – Just for fun, I Googled “‘Work It’ + review” a minute ago. HOO BOY. TV critics are absolutely taking a flamethrower to this show. Seriously, I might watch it just out of morbid curiosity. (NOTE: Do not do this if you are a Nielsen viewer. I will LITERALLY kill you.)

The Biggest Loser (NBC) – Season premiere. If you were wondering if the title of this show still makes me laugh after years and years on the air, the answer is a definitive “Yes.”

NCIS/NCIS: Los Angeles (CBS) – Mark Harmon and LL Cool J get lifetime passes for their involvement in Summer School and the song “Hey Lover,” respectively. Everyone else is on their own.

Celebrity Wife Swap (ABC) – Hand to God, this is what is happening on this show tonight: the wives of Gary Busey and totally-not-gay-ok-maybe-a-little-gay minister Ted Haggard are swapping places. Jesus Mighty. If only for this one episode, the title of this show should be changed to “The Most Patient and Understanding Women Alive.”

Chopped (Food Network) – For the entrée round, the chefs must cook “a meat with a peculiar name.” Like what, D’Brickashaw?

LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Everyone is back tonight and most of them have decent guests, but HOLY CRAP listen to this lineup on Leno tonight: Whitney Cummings, Snooki, and musical guest will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas. This is the most Leno lineup imaginable. Like, if you figured out a way to concentrate all the years of all the shows he has done into a test tube of 100% Leno extract, this is what you would get. It is the weaponized DERP of late night talk shows.

Iallalallal I always love stories about your dad, how how how’s he doing?

I sure am glad that they made my set look exactly like the first level of Perfect Dark. My first choice was Complex, though. Even just that one room where there’s the ramp that leads up to it, and then the little opening on the other side where you could throw proximity mines. It would have been a lot easier to defend.

Yeah.

Hey, did I hear about this? Did I guys hear about this? Apparently Jay Leno (me) did not get any Emmy nominations.

Heh!

I sure wish people didn’t hate me so much. Read the rest of this entry »

Hey, remember NBC’s epic mishandling of its late-night situation? Wasn’t it absolutely hilarious the way Jay Leno connived his way back to the 11:35 position he never wanted to leave? So kooky, right?

Well, no. But as “Dallas” once proved, there’s one totally fool-proof way to reverse course on a seemingly irreversible decision — dream sequence!

NBC considered depicting the failed Jay Leno Show as a mere dream: Promo spots would feature Leno and Victoria Principal in the shower, an homage to the classic Dallas scene in which Principal dreamed the death of her onscreen husband. [USA Today]

Shockingly, NBC didn’t follow through with this, instead opting for a similar spot to the one that aired during last year’s Super Bowl — you know, the one with Jay driving along the Pacific Coast Highway. While I don’t think the shower promo would have been in good taste, I’m not entirely opposed to “Dallas”-themed spots. For example, I very much like the idea of “Who Shot Jay?”

No words. Should have sent a poet.