After doing an entire show in character as Jay Leno, Jimmy Kimmel was on Leno’s 10 @ 10 segment last night, and… WOW. I’ve never been a big Kimmel fan, but I approve of his “Humiliate Leno” policy. At one point, Leno asks Kimmel what the best prank he ever pulled was. Kimmel’s response:

“The best prank I ever pulled was I told a guy that—five years from now—I’m gonna give you my show. And then when the five years came, I gave it to him, and then I took it back almost instantly.”

Let’s go to the judges, annnnnnd… yep, that’s a burn. Strangely enough, I could find a YouTube upload from Jimmy Kimmel’s channel, whereas Hulu, which manages all NBC content, told me this video was unavailable. Nice work, NBC. Now people who use the Internet will never find out that Jay Leno sucks! You really are broadcasting masterminds.

(For you busy bodies, there’s an abbreviated video with just the highlights below.) Read the rest of this entry »

All right, so since the Leno-Conan rumor/bomb yesterday, we’ve got some things that seem certain and some likely possibilities. Here’s what’s certain: Jay Leno is moving back to the 11:30 slot. What NBC wants to do is have “The Jay Leno Show” on for half an hour, then have Conan’s “Tonight Show” at midnight and Jimmy Fallon’s “Late Night” at 1:00 a.m. Whether or not that happens apparently depends on if O’Brien decides to accept this fate.

O’Brien’s handlers are likely mulling all of their options — and pitching their client to both Fox, which currently doesn’t have a late night franchise on the weeknights, and ABC, which would have to move “Nightline” and “Jimmy Kimmel Live” out of the way.

But neither network appears immediately likely to make a play for O’Brien, insiders said. What’s more, Broadcasting and Cable reported that NBC has the option to bench O’Brien for the remainder of his contract but keep paying him. [Variety]

If Conan bolts, of course, you-know-who gets “The Tonight Show” back. Frankly, I’ve already reached the acceptance phase. NBC’s decision to put Leno at 10:00 was so epically disastrous that they HAD to get rid of Jay at that time slot, and while I would have preferred the network loosen the brakes on Leno’s fleet of cars, I can see how moving him to 11:30 makes more business sense.

Read the rest of this entry »

Go ahead and fondle your secretary on your way out of work today, then do all the drugs you can find, get a hooker, and kill someone in cold blood. You may as well, because the world ends tonight at 10:00 Eastern, when Jay Leno’s guests are Dane Cook and Kim Kardashian. Let me say that again: Jay Leno, Dane Cook, and Kim Kardashian. You can’t possibly squeeze less talent into one show unless you’re making an MTV reality series.

This apocalyptic nightmare, by the way, comes on the heels of President Obama bumping “The Jay Leno Show” from NBC’s lineup last night. Guess what happened.

A primetime speech from President Obama forced NBC to squeeze out “The Jay Leno Show” for the first time this fall. The result, not so coincidentally, was a demographic win for the network… Among adults 18-49, NBC won the night with a 3.2 rating. CBS was second with a 2.4 rating, nipping the 2.1 rating for FOX.

Let’s all cut Obama some slack, okay? Television without Leno is change I can believe in.

In what has become a weekly helping of delicious schadenfreude, “The Jay Leno Show” has yet again fallen to a glorious new low in the ratings.

Guess Who Beat Jay Leno! Last week it was SpongeBob’s 10th-anniversary special “SpongeBob SquarePants: Truth or Square” on Nickelodeon. Not only did SpongeBob log more viewers than Jay on Friday — 8 million to Jay’s 5 million — but he also copped more of the 18-to-49-year-old audience Jay targets so assiduously and SpongeBob does not. [WaPo]

I think I finally understand how torturers can enjoy what they do. The pain and agony of suffering is far more entertaining than death. If Leno got canceled, that would be a single joyous blog post. But these new and spectacular failures are seemingly endless. I mean, NBC gave this show a two-year contract. By the end of its run, Leno’s guests will be whichever corporate executives pay the most to be a guest, and the ad rates for a commercial will be so cheap you’ll be able to buy a 30-second spot to run the YouTube video of your choice. I recommend this one.

HURRRRRRRRRR

If you woke up this morning wondering if Jay Leno is still awful in every way possible, the answer is yes. Yes, Jay Leno is still awful in every way possible.

Leno says he would have rather stayed put at “The Tonight Show” – and if NBC offered him that job again, he’d take it.

In an interview with Broadcasting & Cable magazine published online Monday, Leno hastily added that such a decision isn’t his to make. Conan O’Brien, his successor as “Tonight” host after 17 years, is “doing fine,” Leno said. [AP]

“Oh yeah, Conan’s doing… uh, fine. I absolutely want to displace him and take my old job back, but he’s doing great. Just… great. No no no — I’m not in charge at NBC. I can’t make that decision for them. It would absolutely be someone else’s decision to be an Indian giver of the ‘Tonight Show’ hosting duties, and I would never suggest that they should do that, merely that I’d be very happy if they did. Also, I recently took eight newborn babies and burned them in my back yard.”