“Gee, how long do you think it took for him to come up with this list?” “I don’t know, but I’ve got five reasons why it’s terrible.” “DO-HO-HO-HO-HOH!”

I’ve been waiting for this day since the moment Muppets in Space first disappointed me back in 1999, which was approximately three minutes into the movie: today’s the day a new Muppet movie is released! *Screams “yay” and flails arms like Kermit*

To prepare for the muppical extravaganza, written by Jason Segel and Nicholas Stoller, I’ve been re-watching old episodes of “The Muppet Show,” which aired from 1976-1981. And I’ve noticed something that I didn’t pick up on when I was child watching reruns on the Disney Channel: “The Muppet Show” is often wonderfully inappropriate for children. There are sex jokes galore, and the writers never missed an opportunity to slyly use a curse word.

In celebration of The Muppets, here are 10 skits that prove the most sensational, inspirational, and celebrational show of all-time was secretly for adults, with nary a mention of Gonzo’s weird chicken fetish.

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This week in head-exploding theories, writer Brian Lynch claims that “30 Rock” is essentially a rip-off of “The Muppet Show,”  and I have to admit, some of the parallels are pretty uncanny.  His words:

Each week, our smart yet neurotic lead character has to manage a group of wacky misfits and put on a weekly sketch comedy show. Which show am I talking about? 30 ROCK plays like NBC went to JJ Abrams and told him to reboot THE MUPPET SHOW. [...]

[On Liz Lemon/Kermit the Frog:] Both are the most normal people on their respective shows. Both are unlucky at love. Both are neurotic worrywarts and type-a personalities who slow burn into a crazy breakdown once per episode. AND both have some kind of flirtation with the guest stars that ultimately goes nowhere.

It goes on from there, with Jane Krakowski as Miss Piggy, Tracy Morgan as Gonzo, and Kenneth the Page as Scooter.  The only hole in his argument is the idea that Alec Baldwin’s Jack Donaghy is some combination of Sam the Eagle, Fozzie Bear, and Statler and Waldorf.  Man, I love Statler and Waldorf.  Even when I was five, they were my favorite characters.  I guess I’ve always identified with mean-spirited people who make fun of things.  By the way, nice pants, fatass.

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