Gentledog answers the call to arms

The Pacific (HBO, Sunday) — Part Ten/Series Conclusion. Despite the narrative flaws early in the series, episodes 6 through 9 have been some of most white-knuckled, gruesome, grisly, terrifying, and in all ways pants-sh*tting depictions of war I’ve ever seen. And I don’t know who, if anyone, will become a household name from this (possibly James Badge Dale, who will be in AMC’s “Rubicon” next year), but Rami Malek (inset) is reason enough to watch this miniseries. He plays Corporal “Snafu” Shelton with a mumbling, sociopathic glee that I haven’t seen since I worked with Marines on a daily basis.

Friday Night Lights (NBC) — D’oh! I forgot to DVR the premiere last Friday. I really wish networks would know better than to put quality programming on Friday nights. Guess I’m gonna have to go to Hulu.

Party Down (Starz) — Wait, I don’t think I watched last week’s episode. Did it not record? Why haven’t I seen it in my DVR’d show list? I’m terrible at my job.

Breaking Bad (AMC) — Holy crap! I still haven’t seen last Sunday’s episode because I went to bed after “Treme.” Do you see the theme developing? I guess tonight I’m just going to have to watch all of last weekend’s TV.

Saturday Night Live (NBC) — Season finale. Alec Baldwin hosts for a record 15th time, with musical guests Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. Wait, Alec Baldwin and Tom Petty on SNL? Is this 2010, 2000, or 1990?

Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution (ABC, Friday) — “Jamie is shocked by the response of students of Huntington High School when he asks them to choose between a lunch menu of processed junk food or fresh fare.” If you watch this show, you cannot call this a weekend.

Real Time With Bill Maher (HBO, Friday) — Right after I posted that article this morning about Bill Maher being all smarmy, I thought of a joke. Here it is: “you can’t spell ‘smahermy’ without ‘maher’! Look, Ufford. You want to go on vacation and hire a replacement? Guess what, you get replacement-level talent. Suck it.

NBA playoffs (ABC/ESPN, Saturday/Sunday) — If you don’t have a team, read this and then take your pick. Or you can do what I do: interpret fouls as morally-compromising character flaws, then root for the team with the fewest fouls.

Treme (HBO, Sunday) — This is a very good show. Mr. Ufford has offered his take. I’m with him, but I understand the disappointment as well. People wish it were The Wire. Hell, there’s a garbage back near the door of the apartment. I wish that garbage bag were The Wire. That way I wouldn’t have to lug it downstairs. Plus, I could set it on my coffee table and guilt my friends into watching it when they come over. But! It is not The Wire. It is a garbage bag.

The Pacific (HBO, Sunday) — Who is the mole? Spoiler alert: the mole is the human condition!

Breaking Bad (AMC, Sunday) — My favorite show at the moment. I hope Badger makes an appearance. That dude might be the single most worthless zero in the history of television.

I’ll be back for a few posts on Monday before Matt takes over. Don’t tell him that Mr. Jon let you play the vidja games and eat Oreos all weekend. You kids want to get me in trouble?

As we learned in the Bible, Jesus rose from the dead on Easter Sunday because he didn’t want to miss all the awesome TV on that night. Check it out:

Breaking Bad (AMC) — This season has started a little slow, but there are clouds gathering. Mexican clouds. Clouds with axes.

The Pacific (HBO) — After a peaceful third episode of getting drunk and slaying Aussie tail, the Marines get back to the other thing they do well: wholesale slaughter of America’s enemies. Watch a preview here.

Life (Discovery) — Tonight’s episodes are “Birds” and “Creatures of the Deep,” the latter of which will feature the first-ever video from the depths of your mom’s vagina.

Next week: All of the above, plus the premiere of “Treme.” HOLY CRAP I CAN’T WAIT.

Part Three of HBO’s “The Pacific” aired last night, and the episode was sadly devoid of Jap-killing. Instead, the men of the 1st Marine Division were in Melbourne for some R&R, and what excitement was lost from the lack of combat was at least partly recouped in drunken escapades, sex, and fist fights. I’m not a man who happily parts with ultraviolent depictions of combat, but bare breasts are a good start to keeping me interested. I guess I’m old-fashioned that way.

OTHER SUNDAY NIGHT VIEWING…

If you have cable and HD and you’re NOT watching “Life,” you better fix yourself. As much as I don’t like Oprah’s narration, the visuals on that show are beyond belief. If I bought into conspiracies, I’d swear some of the shots were CG animation.

Finally, if you didn’t get your fill of white-knuckled tension from “The Pacific,” then you needed to watch “Breaking Bad.” WOW. The last couple minutes of that episode were f’n terrifying, and they reaffirmed one of my guiding principles in life: avoid well-dressed Mexicans who own chrome axes.

Holy crap, there was a lot going on on TV last night. Not only were people all a-Twitter about the NCAA tournament and the health care reform debate, but there was some absolutely amazing cable programming as well. Such as:

LIFE (Discovery) — I got goosebumps just watching the teaser intro before it started (see video below). Just hours and hours of high-definition animals in slow-motion; I often found myself with my jaw agape. My only suggestion for improvement: Oprah out as narrator, Sam Elliott in.

BREAKING BAD (AMC) — Depending on who you trust at Ownage du Cinema, the season premiere was either a disappointment that “lacked the sense of relentless forward motion which so characterized the first two seasons” or OWNAGE that provided “VALUABLE LIFE LESSONS IN THE REALM OF OWNAGE.” Regardless, everyone should be able to agree that there’s no denying the power of the final scene.

THE PACIFIC (HBO) — I am no longer qualified to write about this with any pretense of objectivity. Watching a recreation of John Basilone’s heroics that won him the Medal of Honor — an act that has grown from history to legend to religious event in Marine Corps lore — was, for me, like a devout Christian watching The Passion of the Christ: it doesn’t matter what details are changed for dramatic effect, because any critical judgment is overpowered by the emotion from actually seeing an event that lived only in your mind for so long. I have no idea if this show works for anyone who didn’t serve in the Marines, and frankly I don’t really care. It works for me, and that’s good enough.

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