This is a video of all the times the word “sex” was used in a single episode of ABC Family’s ”Secret Life of the American Teenager:” a whopping seventy times for a show with about 45 minutes of content. Personally, I don’t have a problem with teenagers talking about sex that much, but I’m creeped out that the kid with Down syndrome says “sex” just as much as kinky minx Renee Olstead. Let’s leave the Down syndrome sex talks where they belong: on TLC’s new reality competition, “America’s Sexiest Retard.”

[The Daily What]

When I woke up this morning, I had no idea who Renee Olstead was. Now she’s one of my favorite actresses, and I’m even thinking about watching “The Secret Life of the American Teenager” because of her. That’s because nude photos of her have leaked online, and they are the leaked photos to trump all other leaked photos. I hope other sexy young actresses are taking notes, because “redhead” and “lingerie” and “shower” and “sex toys” and “gratuitous piercings” are a direct ticket to my undying love and respect.

I’ve got a few of the leaked photos below the cut, and they walk the line between what is and isn’t safe for work. Actually, they’re probably NOT safe for work, but they’re relatively tame compared to the entire set of photos, which you should only view in the privacy of your own home, far away from children and the disapproving gaze of your wife. The secret life of the American teenager, indeed. ABC Family is gonna be thrilled with these.

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Here’s Bristol Palin’s acting debut on “The Secret Life of the American Teenager.” My one-word review: WOOF. Usually, the only places you can see a hot teenage girl with such a lifeless expression are really good strip clubs.

Hey Bristol, don’t pursue acting, honey. Stick to what you do best. Whatever that is. Unprotected premarital sex, I suppose.

[via THR]

Bristol Palin, the teenager who taught the nation about strong family values by having an unplanned pregnancy during a presidential campaign, will appear as herself on an episode of “The Secret Life of the American Teenager” on ABC Family next season.

The network says the 19-year-old will play herself on an episode scheduled to shoot and air this summer. It will deal with the consequences of teen pregnancy.

Well, if Bristol and MTV have taught me anything, the consequences of having a baby as a teenager are that you end up on a television show. Why, being a teenage mom is totally glamorous!

Of course, I’m sure that’s not the REAL message of “Secret Life” and MTV’s “16 and Pregnant.” Fortunately, teenage girls are notoriously detail-oriented and adept at discerning the truth from potentially muddled messages.