To thwart the sinful, moral-corroding, cousins-marrying influence of the Western world (that’s us!), Iran has banned the sale of “Simpsons” dolls within its borders. Now Iranian children and Jon Lovitz fans will have to travel all the way to Turkmenistan to get their talking Artie Ziff action figure. According to Reuters:

“The Simpsons dolls are merchandise from an animated series, of which some episodes are even banned in Europe and America,” Mohammad Hossein Farjoo, whose agency oversees what Iranian children can play with, told the Sharq newspaper.

“We do not want to promote this cartoon by importing the toys,” added Farjoo, whose full title is Secretary for Policy-making at the Institute for the Intellectual Development of Children and Young Adults in Tehran.

Executive producer Al Jean responded to news of the ban by saying, “This means war!” which is a terrifying sentiment when you think about it. Considering Iran’s only getting around to banning “Simpsons” toys in 2012, some 20 years after people here stopped caring about the nationwide-threat that was Bart saying, “Eat my shorts,” just think how pissed they’re going to be in 2020, when “Family Guy” becomes all the rage.

I assume this is what Iran thinks we’re like.

In today’s feature, we’ve got GIFs from last night’s game (including the middle finger seen ‘round the world), as well as selections from “Archer,” “The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret,” “Parks and Recreation,” and even something from “Community.” That’s right, if you needed a new movable Alison Brie image, we’ve got you covered. Also Madonna doing a dance that looks a lot like one from a favorite show of ours…

World peace and GIFs, or GTFO.

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M.I.A. can flip me off whenever she wants.

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There it is. Boyd for next year’s Super Bowl, please.

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More “Simpsons” football goodness below.

UPROXX “Archer” Open Thread: “The Limited” With Executive Producer Matt Thompson — Matt dished out a ton of behind-the-scenes info, including how long it takes to animate an episode and about the time he and Adam Reed went to the Times Square Howard Johnson’s. He also makes fun of Twilight. I like him. (Uproxx)

Here’s the Best F-You Letter Written By a Slave To His Former Master You’ll Ever Read — There’s just something so refreshing about an old-fashioned “fu*k you” letter. Don’t make ‘em like they used to. (Uproxx)

30 Funny, Catty, and Bitter Twitter Reactions To DC’s “Before Watchmen” Announcement — I think Baby Watchmen has officially become the most popular post-Golden Era “Simpsons” reference. (Gamma Squad)

Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes — Remember a few days ago when I asked which celebrity couple make no sense? Well, Nacho and Kim Kardashian makes PERFECT sense. Let their babies be attractive and useless. (With Leather)

Remember When Michael Shannon Was In Groundhog Day? Hint: He Loved Wrestlemania — I don’t, but I do remember Kangaroo Jack, which he played the villain in. That’s what “Boardwalk Empire” needs: more marsupials. (Film Drunk)

First Look: NBA All-Star 2012 Jerseys — Good to know that the West will be playing for China during the All-Star Game. Go communism! (Smoking Section)

26 Meanest Quotes From Reviews of Lana Del Rey’s New Album — TL;DR She’s a robot who runs on Diet Mountain Dew. (Buzzfeed)

The Best Football Fan Raps — The video of a Packers fan singing “Packarena,” a parody of “Macarena,” from EARLIER THIS YEAR is the single most depressing thing I’ve ever seen, and I watched the Miami Dolphins’ 1990 squad rap “Can’t Touch Us” right beforehand. It’s funny ’cause they lost. (Adult Swim)

Kristin Bell Offers an Explanation For Her Sloth Meltdown — I hope sloths become the new cats. Those guys have hogged the spotlight for far too long. (The FW)

7 Most Embarrassing “I’m Going to Disney World” Super Bowl Ads — Walt’s wondering from beyond the icebox where all the Jews are? I mean, Jews…at Disney World?! Now that’s embarrassing! (Screen Junkies)

20 Movie Posters that Have Been Banned Somewhere for Being Too Profane, Gruesome, Provocative, or Offensive — OH GOD, IT’S HIDEOUS /looks at poster for Sex and the City 2. (Pajiba)

An inside look at the New York Jets’ playbook.

Haha, Cooper’s not talented.

I’m Jewish and a Carolina Panthers’ fan — this clip really speaks to me.

Even in Spanish, the Broncos are terrible.

And English, too.

I could watch this for hours and hours, and I have.

Tim Doyle is an Austin-based illustrator and print-maker. For an exhibition entitled “Unreal Estate” that opens today at Spoke Art in San Francisco, he recreated some of TV’s most memorable fictional settings, from Moe’s Tavern to Satriale’s Pork Store. And by recreate, I mean he made them kind of terrifying, or in artist speak:

“Unreal Estate” is a collection of locations that many of us know and have been to on a weekly basis at times, but can never actually visit. These places are in our memories transmitted and entrenched there through a cathode-ray tube. Some of us have been going to these places for decades, some of these places were taken from us, way too soon. (Spoke Art)

As someone who goes out of his way to visit pop culture locations, I really like Daly’s work, and he does a nice job of getting the little details right, like the car outside of Monk’s with the ASSMAN license plate. That being said, I’m really glad he only did three Springfield locations — looking at his vision of Uncle Moe’s Family Feedbag would make me not believe in sunshine and puppy dogs anymore. Take a look at some of his work.

(All pictures via Flickr)

I don’t really understand fingernail art. To be honest, it kind of skeeves me out. It’s unnatural; there’s something strangely Wicca about it. Maybe it’s just me, but the idea of spending $100 on something that might break off in your boyfriend’s clavicle next week gives me the heebs. But when the fingernail art is inspired by TV shows, it makes me slightly less squeamish, especially when those television shows are as awesome as these are (I’m particularly fond of the “Doctor Who” art).

Most of the images in the following gallery came from Flavorwire’s collection (and you can see there entire post, which includes a lot of not-awesome shows like “Glee”), but where indicated, the fingernail art comes from elsewhere. Also, yes: I searched all morning for Greendale fingernail art, but the Internet let me down on this one.

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Game of Thrones

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Sons of Anarchy

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Saved by the Bell

Arrested Development

Parks and Recreation

The Simpsons

Daria

Twin Peaks

Lost

The Fresh Prince of Bel Air

The Muppets

True Blood

Pee Wee’s Playhouse

Doctor Who

Dexter

The “Ditz” or “Idiot” or “Moron” has always been a staple of television sitcoms, but it seems like they’re growing increasingly dumb in recent years. That may be a function of our own society. After all, in many cases this character archetype exists in order to make the viewer at home feel superior. It’s getting more and more difficult now, however, to create a character dumber than the average Nielsen viewer without adding a functionally retarded person into every sitcom. Remember Ralph and Potsie from “Happy Days,” or Joey from “Friends” or even Screech and Michael Kelso? Compared to modern television’s dumb characters, they seem almost Eisensteinian.

How far has the bar dropped? Here is a ranking of the 10 Most Profoundly Stupid Characters on Current Television Shows (Limit one character per show). The level of intelligence among these characters should speak for itself.

10. Tracy Jordan, “30 Rock”

9. Luke Dunphy, “Modern Family”

8. Randy Jackson, “American Idol”

7. Kevin Malone, “The Office”

6. Butters Stotch, “South Park”

5. Ryan Shay, “Suburgatory”

4. Butthead, “Beavis and Butthead”

3. The Entire Cast of “Jersey Shore”

2. Brittany, “Glee”

1. Ralph Wiggum, “The Simpsons”

After being away for a few weeks for various seasonal celebrations (thanks, Jesus and/or Maccabees) and other holidays (thanks, having dreams), the GIF of the Week feature is back. Today, we’ve got animated selections from “Archer,” “Justified,” “30 Rock,” “Parks and Recreation,” and the greatest Lifetime Original Movie ever (bitch).

Yay indeed, Leslie.

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This is not a GIF. Lizzy Caplan appeared on “New Girl” last week, but there wasn’t anything worthwhile from the episode. So, instead, here’s a photo of Lizzy hanging out with Alison Brie at the Sundance Film Festival, where they’re pimping their movie together, Save the Date. It’s heaven, particularly when compared to the hell that is…

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Bring Back Matt sent us this at 11:58 p.m. He’s clearly gone insane, and we’re reaping all the benefits.

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How many times have you gone to Wikipedia today, only to get their “Imagine a World without Free Knowledge” message? It’s happened to me four times already (I STILL don’t know the complete biographical background on the dad from “Webster”), and I’m pretty sure it’ll occur nine more times before the day’s out. But I’m not mad; I can wait to know what movies were shot in South Dakota. It’s for a good cause.

Today is SOPA Day on the Internet. Hundreds of websites, including Wikipedia and Reddit, are protesting the very bad Stop Online Piracy and Protect IP acts because, well, they’re very bad. Matt wrote about it back in November, and Señor Fancy Lawyer Man Danger Guerrero would like to add:

I can’t stress strongly enough to all of you how terrible the whole SOPA/PIPA thing is…Not only will this bill throw a giant wrench into the Internet, it also has SERIOUS Constitutional ramifications. It gives mass copyright holders (Disney, record companies, Viacom, etc.) the ability to restrict people’s speech and take away their property (websites) without due process.

That’s my favorite kind of process! So, contact your local representative and tell them, SOPA STINKS. After you’ve done that – ONLY after you’ve done that – check back here to see how the Internet has been reacting to the threat of censorship, through the use of TV shows and characters. I’ve added a few of my own, as should you. Find an image, add text here, and copy the link in the comments. We’ll include the best in the slideshow.

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Me too, Professor. Me too.

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Even the ponies, and presumably bronies, know.

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Neither does Randy Marsh.

THIS is the best one.

I made the following images, and you should too!

I just assume everyone in Portland dresses like this.

“Portlandia” stars Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein will lend their voices to a next-season episode of “The Simpsons,” according to TV Line. Creator Matt Groening hails from Portland, leading some to believe this definitively means that Springfield is in Oregon (it’s not). But considering his involvement with the long-running series at this point (nothing at all, nothing at all…), the casting move has more to do with the “Simpsons” on-going quest to have every person ever on the show.

The duo will play part of a “cool” family that moves from Portland to Springfield and becomes the Simpsons’ new neighbors. Homer desperately tries to befriend them, but Marge is skeptical that being cool isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. (TV Line)

It’s getting tougher and tougher to NOT be able to connect our favorite current shows to “The Simpsons” in a single step (One Degree of Mmm…Bacon?…I’m sorry). “Breaking Bad”: check. “Mad Men”: check. “Boardwalk Empire”: check. “Game of Thrones”: check. “Parks and Recreation”: check. “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”: check. “Louie”: check. “30 Rock”: check. “Community”: check. Anything Anthony Bourdain related: check.

BUT, off the top of my head, I can’t think of a connection between “The Simpsons” and “Justified,” “Homeland,” “Archer,” or “Eastbound and Down,” meaning they need to cast H. Jon Benjamin and Timothy Olyphant as two secret-agent detectives who go undercover as nuclear power plant employees to investigate whether Homer’s cocky new assistant, voiced by Danny McBride, is who he says he is…IN IRAQ. Practically writes itself.

Saturday Night Live (NBC, Saturday) – Charles Barkley hosts. I love Charles. I do. But the reason I love him is his unfiltered, off-the-cuff observations about things, not necessarily his ability memorize lines and perform live sketch comedy. Fingers crossed. (Preview after the jump.)

Shameless/House of Lies/Californication (Showtime, Sunday) – Season premieres for “Shameless” and “Californication,” and series premiere for “House of Lies.” I, for one, admire their commitment to quality programming and gratuitous nudity.

The Firm (NBC, Sunday) – The premiere of the series based on the John Grisham book and Tom Cruise movie. Let me get this on the record: if any shady Southern law firm wants to offer me a wheelbarrow full of cash to work for them, I am ALL EARS. Seriously. I won’t ask any questions as long as the checks clear.

Merlin (Syfy, Sunday) – Season 4 premiere. I had no idea this show existed until about five minutes ago. Hi, I’m a TV blogger!

Downton Abbey (PBS, Sunday) – Season 2 premiere. I have Season 1 on my DVR, and I want to get through it before Sunday night. It is also the first weekend of the NFL playoffs. There is a 0% chance I am successful. Such is life.

The Simpsons (FOX, Sunday) – Homer gets a political radio show and endorses Ted Nugent for president. TYPICAL LIBERAL HOLLYWOOD ELITE LOOKING DOWN ON THE COMMON FOLKS FROM THEIR IVORY TOWE… what now? Ted Nugent. Oh. Nevermind.

Hell on Wheels (AMC, Sunday) – “Hell on Wheels” would be a good name for a satanic roller derby team. Think it over, devil worshipers.

Rachael vs. Guy: Celebrity Cook-off (Food Network, Sunday) – I covered this yesterday, but you should also read Max Silvestri’s hilarious write-up on it at Grantland. I’m beginning to fear I might start watching this show. I don’t have to explain myself to you people.