Bill Clinton and Mindy Kaling were on “The Today Show” this morning to talk about holiday books, and during their discussion Ann Curry made one of the more embarrassing slips of the tongue you can imagine. And by that I mean she said “semen.” In front of Bill Clinton.

We’ve had some fun with Ann Curry around here before (“Good morning good morning everybody, in the news this morning good morning”), but this one’s perfectly understandable. I imagine when you sit down to talk with Bill Clinton your brain is just going apesh-t repeating “DON’T SAY SEMEN DON’T SAY SEMEN PLEASE GOD DON’T SAY SEMEN” over and over while you try to stare him in the eye and act as normal as possible. Then they give her a name that starts with S-E-A like “Seamus”? That’s just unfair, regardless of the name’s actual pronunciation. If I didn’t know better, I’d think this was a set up. Probably that goon Lauer. People who travel around the world in secrecy are not to be trusted.

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Conan O’Brien’s old “Late Night” show on NBC was always at its best when he did remote segments, something that doesn’t work in L.A. because that city doesn’t have pedestrians for Conan to interact with. But with last night’s show in New York, he aired two different remotes I enjoyed (see below).

The first is a short segment in which Conan returns to Rockefeller Center in disguise as a “hipster pedophile Chargers fan” who he stands in the audience while “The Today Show” films. The second, longer segment has Conan filling in as a delivery guy for a Chinese restaurant, and it has some really great moments. Watch and mourn the loss of “Late Night with Conan O’Brien” all over again. (R.I.P. 1993-2009)

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Meredith Vieira announced her departure from “The Today Show” this morning, leaving Matt Lauer to co-host the nation’s top morning show with Ann “Good Morning Good Morning” Curry.

“This is a difficult day for me,” Meredith said in an emotional announcement on TODAY Monday. “I’m going to try to hold myself together here. But after months of personal reflection and private conversations between my family and my friends, I’ve decided to leave TODAY in June. [MSNBC]

Vieira will remain at NBC in some capacity at NBC News, but she’ll always be remembered best on “Today” as “whatsherface, you know, the one who replaced Katie Couric?” And also for the time she hit on a Navy pilot and announced that she was “an old, horny woman”:

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When the “Today” show isn’t busy televising Kathie Lee Gifford’s morning wine binges, it delivers HARD NEWS like this story from Long Island: a raccoon got its head stuck in a peanut butter jar. The Pulitzer committee has convened early to declare this the greatest “animal head stuck in plastic container” story since Squirrel Stuck in Yogurtgate 2009. Video below (via videogum).

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Punxsutawney Phil did not see his shadow this morning, which means that thanks to a weird, dated religious ritual that is one does of sexual magic away from being The Wicker Man, Winter is almost over. The Midwest is still elbows-deep in snow and the East coast is still trying to dig their way out, but somebody inferred a decision from this rodent so praise Jesus and here we go ’round the Maypole.

The best part of Groundhog Day, besides literally every person on my Facebook posting the “don’t drive angry!” clip from Groundhog Day, is the reaction of “Today Show” host Matt Lauer:

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