For years, HBO was the king of the promo. Their between-seasons trailers for “The Sopranos” and, in particular, “Six Feet Under” were a thing of beauty. I still occasionally watch the Nina Simone-scored promo for season four of “SFU”; it said everything you needed to know about the show in less than three minutes. Namely, DEATH IS EVERYWHERE.

But call 911, because someone’s committed regicide: FX has slain the king. Their promos have become increasingly awesome over the past couple of years, and they’ve outdone themselves with the teasers for season three of “Justified,” which premieres on January 17, 2012. The newest one’s got angry Boyd! Angrier Raylan! People crashing through glass! Um, Subway! It’s pretty great. View it after the jump, as well as the trailer for season six of “30 Rock,” featuring a WNBA booty-shaking Liz and Kelsey Grammer.

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FX has announced the January premiere dates for “Justified” and “Archer,” AKA “Why I Watch Television.” Circle these dates on your calendar: Tuesday, January 17th for “Justified” and Thursday the 19th for “Archer,” which will be paired with the new animated comedy “Unsupervised.”

[It] was created by “Sunny” writers Rob Rosell, Scott Marder and David Hornsby, and has a voice cast including Justin Long, Kristen Bell, Fred Armisen, Romany Malco, Kaitlin Olson and Alexa Vega, along with Rosell and Hornsby themselves. The show is about a pair of teenage best friends, Gary and Joel, trying to do the right thing with no parental supervision. [HitFix]

I can take or leave this new show. Right now I’m kind of mad that it’s distracting me from the point: people, we are a mere MONTH AND A HALF away from new seasons of “Justified” and “Archer”! That’s thirteen fresh episodes of Timothy Olyphant’s wry smile and H. Jon Benjamin’s deadpan delivery — UHHHH, I mean braless Natalie Zea and Lana Kane in her knockoff Fiaccis because I like girls! IS SHE A SEXY CARTOON OR WHAT?

Embedded above is a teaser for the upcoming season of FX’s stellar, badass drama “Justified.” As with most teasers, it is incredibly vague and kind of artsy, with close-ups of guns and hats and shoes, and main characters Raylan Givens and Boyd Crowder obviously getting ready for some sort of battle. As I was watching it, I found myself getting frustrated and thinking “Come on, guys. Give me something. Anything! What’s gonna happen? Are they shooting at each other? Why?! Daddy needs a fix!” I kept thinking that up until the 0:20 mark, at which point my thought process changed to something more along the lines of “!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Goddamn I miss this show.

Fantastic casting news today: my longtime love Carla Gugino will join Season 3 of another love of mine, “Justified,” as a woman who shares a past with my other longtime love, Timothy Olyphant.

In Season 3 of the acclaimed drama, Gugino will playa Washington, D.C.-based assistant director of the U.S. Marshals Service who used to work with Raylan back in Miami — and as such shares a history with our favorite trigger-happy lawman.

Gugino’s character, who is described as “tough, smart and funny,” comes to Kentucky to help safeguard hidden witnesses who have become vulnerable after the murder of a U.S. Marshal. [TV Line]

This makes awesome and wonderful sense. Not only has Gugino starred in another series based on another Elmore Leonard character in the U.S. Marshals (the unfortunately short-lived “Karen Sisco”), but she’s already established on-screen chemistry with Olyphant (banner image). Granted, like everyone else, I’ve never seen their scenes together in Elektra Luxx, but I’ve dreamed about those two having sex often enough that it automatically gets my approval.

I believe this calls for a gratuitous and unnecessary gallery of sexy Carla Gugino pictures. C’mon, you know you wanna click through. Daddy needs the ad dollars.

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You guys are never going to believe this, but a lot of people who appear on television for a living put on nice clothes to go to the Emmys last night. I’ll let you get to clicking through the pictures in a moment, but here’s a general overlook:

• Before you ask: yes, there are pictures of Christina Hendricks’s mountainous cleavage.
• There will be absolutely no discussion of the cleavage displayed by Ariel Winter (Alex on “Modern Family”). She’s 13. If I’m gonna get arrested for something like that, it’ll be for Chloe Moretz.
• Because I am occasionally not a total chauvinist pervert, I have included pictures of handsome male actors. Props to my lady readers.
• As I log more and more years in the blogging game, I’m less enamored with the “This beautiful actress is ugly” thing that bloggers and commenters like to do. They’re famous actors; I would happily have sex with any of them. Even Melissa McCarthy. Even Peter Dinklage. Even — and this will gross some people out — Gwyneth Paltrow.

All right. Get to clickin’. Those pageviews feed me.

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