Oh, this is a real treat. Pleated Jeans has put together a supercut of Very Special Episodes from the ’80s and ’90s. I have no idea why Very Special Episodes ever came to prominence, but they’re certainly hilarious in retrospect. Obviously, the most famous scene is Jessie’s meltdown after she gets hooked on caffeine pills in “Saved by the Bell,” but there are some other gems here, including:

• Future two-time Oscar winner Tom Hanks as the drunk uncle on “Family Ties.”
• Donna getting thrown down the stairs by her abusive boyfriend on “90210″ (2:30 mark, FYI).
• The episode of “Punky Brewster” where Cherie hides in the refrigerator and almost dies from asphyxiation. Man, I’d forgotten all about that episode! I definitely made sure to never hide in refrigerators after that episode.

Anyway, be sure to watch the whole thing, and be sad all over again when Steve Urkel doesn’t fall to his death.

This video of Tom Hanks dancing with the weather girl on Univision has been everywhere for the last day (including the Uproxx homepage yesterday), but I didn’t get all the way through it until this morning because the first minute is so horrifically awkward. Hanks is there ostensibly to promote Larry Crowne, but the segment looks more like an immersive crash course in Spanish gone wrong. “What? Oh, yes! The solstice! Today is the solstice, that’s right… Yeah, sure, let’s do the weather. Anything but this torturous cacophony of foreign jabber.” He then speaks a language every man knows: dancing with a beautiful woman whose clothes seem to be painted on. Worth it? Worth it.

Incredibly, this clip is only about a quarter of the time he spent on “Despierta America.” I’ve got all four of the clips on the following pages, and I assume they’re pretty enjoyable if you speak Spanish or enjoy watching people try to breach language barriers. Personally, I think the highlight is the cooking segment, but that’s just because I understood some of what was being said. “He said tortilla! I know what that is!”

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Battle Shots. Ah, college: the only place where you can co-opt a board game so that you can competitively do shots of Seagram’s gin in pajama pants. [The Clearly Dope]

Eight Badass Veterans You’ve (Probably) Never Heard Of. In case you missed it yesterday, here’s my Veterans Day feature. [UPROXX]

This Week in Drug News. Burnsy wonders if struggling drug dealers need a bailout. [UPROXX News]

Don’t worry, Nic Cage still looks ridiculous. The Season of the Witch trailer has all the Nic-Cage-in-silly-costumes you could possibly hope for. [FilmDrunk]

Mom? Sexy Jacksonville fan gets Jaguars players to sign her body, which she then has tattooed onto her. Classy lady. [With Leather]

Michael Bay approves. Transformers toy in other countries get awesomely offensive names. [Gamma Squad]

There’s lots of stuff I haven’t been able to cover over the last couple of days, so here’s your TV news roundup with video and animated GIF images:

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I’m often frightened by just how much of America watches CBS’s relentless lineup of crime procedural dramas, but this fact was particularly startling to me: Pauley Perrette, who plays goth lab tech Abby in “NCIS,” has a Q score that ties Morgan Freeman’s and Tom Hanks’s as the highest in the country.

Marketing Evaluations, Inc., The Q Scores Company, has just released its January/February 2010 Performer Q study, which asked a representative sample of 1,800 children, teens, and adults to rate the familiarity and appeal of personalities. The surprising results: Perennial favorite Tom Hanks’ Q Score is now tied with Morgan Freeman’s and NCIS‘ Pauley Perrette’s — which means even though Perrette is roughly half as well-known as Hanks and Freeman, those who are familiar with her adore her. She’s the only female in the Top 10. [PopWatch]

Now, I’m not saying Perrette isn’t likable. But the most likable? The only female in a top ten populated by film icons like Tom Hanks, Clint Eastwood, Johnny Depp, and Harrison Ford is a television actress who plays a supporting role? Someone put Julia Roberts on suicide watch.

The Marine Corps’s ass-kicking birthday continues at Warming Glow with this video about HBO’s “The Pacific” — an epic miniseries that, as I’ve said before (more than once), will be the greatest thing ever televised. No, YOUR expectations are too high!

Anyway, this is just Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg giving us no information that we haven’t already gotten before, but it’s set to moving music, and they talk about Marines, and there’s an old M4 Sherman tank, and God damn it’s days like this that I miss shooting my .50 cal. What an amazing weapon. The way it’s mounted on an M1A1 tank, you can put steel on steel from defilade 1800 meters away. One of the rarest pleasures in life is sending hot steel at unsuspecting enemies of America. It’s one of the few things in life I enjoy more than cats in wigs.

[The Live Feed]