Lobster Dog as Speaker: more likable than Pelosi, more stoic than Boehner

State of the Union Address (everywhere) — In the wake of the Arizona shootings, Congress will abandon its traditionally segregated Repbublican-Democrat seating and will instead intermingle. Also, following last year’s “not true” grumpiness from Samuel Alito, six of the nine Supreme Court justices will be on hand. (See also: the State of the Union drinking game, clearly made by some idiot who can’t tell the difference between the effects of “take a drink” and “do a shot.”)

The Fashion Show (Bravo) — Season finale. I think Bravo is the only channel NOT showing the State of the Union.

Hellcats (CW) — It’s a new night for the college cheerleading show. I didn’t realize until a few weeks ago that series star Aly Michalka had a prominent supporting role in Easy A. She and her boobs did a great job. And that’s not me being a pervert: her character was really proud of her big boobs.

The Game (BET) — The Warming Glow H.R. department has gotten a couple complaints that “The Game” — which has gotten huge ratings since moving from the CW to BET — hasn’t gotten enough attention here. So here’s what I’ll do: I’ll record it tonight and watch it some time this week. If it’s better than anything from Tyler Perry, I’ll say so. If it’s terrible, then I’ll hate all black people forever. Kidding, just kidding. I wouldn’t want to be held responsible for “Two and a Half Men” just because I’m white.

Tosh.0 (Comedy Central) — Tosh gives a Web Redemption to Ken Green, the guy who danced into the street and got hit by an ice cream truck (video below). Looks like it’s gonna be a good one.

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Onion SportsDome (Comedy Central) — Series premiere. Sports satire shows have always failed, and given the preview videos, I don’t have high hopes for this, either. I think the New York Times nailed it: “It’s funny to think of the mayor of St. Louis giving the home-run hitter Albert Pujols the skeleton key to the entire city — ‘Our homes, our cars, our Internet access, our showers and whatever’s in our fridge. All of it is yours, Albert’ — but hearing it read by an anonymous actor is probably less funny than reading it yourself would have been.”

Tosh.0 (Comedy Central) — Season premiere. Antoine Dodson will appear in the season opener, and we’ll also see Tosh’s season-long fashion statement revealed. I’m hoping for sleeveless cowboy shirts. FUN FACT: Tosh and Dodson are wearing the same red Adidas tracksuit as Sofia Vergara in the previous post.

Lights Out (FX) — Series premiere. I’m as loyal to FX as your grandparents are to CBS, but I have no intention of watching this. The “old white boxer makes a return to the ring” couldn’t possibly sound less original to me. Unless he was named Rocky.

Teen Mom 2 (MTV) — Season premiere. Four new teenage mothers see what it’s like to do a terrible job of raising children who will inevitably grow up to be strippers.

Millionaire Matchmaker (Bravo) — Season finale. I think a good season finale would be letting Patti Stanger loose on a secluded island, then 15 minutes later sending a pack of hungry wild dogs after her. Tell me you wouldn’t watch that.

It’s the end of the year, and you want top ten lists. Well I got a Top Ten list for you RIGHT HERE: it’s the best television shows of 2010, as determined by a panel of ME.

Of course, the “best” shows by Warming Glow standards are those that I find to be the most indispensable on my DVR. So I’m not rewarding the best writing or the best acting per se; I’m merely making a list of the shows that I enjoyed the most (with an addendum of snubbed shows). Nevertheless, that shouldn’t stop you from complaining about my choices if you disagree. But just know that if you don’t concur with my choices, it’s merely because you have terrible taste and should be euthanized. It’s nothing to take personally.

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I still haven’t watched this week’s “Tosh.0″ yet, but this series of jokes about “American Idol” (via The Live Feed) is absolutely delightful. I don’t really have anything else to add to that. I’m gonna let Tosh tell the jokes. Sorry, people, but I can’t fake it when I don’t have my A-game. It’s Friday, I have crippling ADD, it’s nice outside, and half of the people that read this website are on vacation. (I know this because my parents are on vacation.) Just enjoy the video, okay?

In a testament to how I’m always right about what’s good, Daniel Tosh’s “Tosh.0″ is garnering bigger ratings than Comedy Central’s two late-night giants, “The Daily Show” and “The Colbert Report.” In the last six weeks, Tosh’s summer season has gotten more viewers than any Comedy Central show in that time slot since “Chappelle’s Show” in 2004.

“It’s a show that came in under the radar and it’s a truly word-of-mouth kind of show,” said Kent Alterman, head of original programing at Comedy Central. “He hasn’t been written about that much [Ed. Note: Hey, f*ck you, pal]. There’s really just one factor that stands out — the show is really funny.”

“Tosh” is averaging 2.2 million viewers this season vs. 2 million for “The Daily Show” and 1.4 million for “Colbert Report.” Overall, it is the third most-popular show on the network (behind “South Park” and “Futurama”). [THR]

Of course, Tosh airs in primetime, not late night, and his show is weekly compared to the four nights a week Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert are on the air. And that raises the question: could “Tosh.0″ air Mondays through Thursdays with the big dogs? I don’t know; it’s pretty hard to find people who can find funny Web clips and write offensive jokes about them every day. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to catch up on my tentacle rape hentai videos.