Comic-Con is next month, and what used to be a small collection of nerds trading comic books is now a thriving corporate parasite that feeds on the excitement of the sweaty and unshaven. Expect this kind of enthusiasm every time I write about the convention.
Anyway, three networks — HBO, Fox, and Starz — released the schedules for their panels today, and I’ve got the schedule below along with some of my typically breezy commentary. Long story short: HBO will showcase “Game of Thrones” and “True Blood,” Fox is sending a gazillion shows, and Starz is something that exists to some people.
GRRR SEXY DARK AGES. This video from Funny or Die doesn’t have a lot of laughs, but it does a pretty good job of making fun of “The Borgias” and “The Tudors.” Plus it stars Natalie Zea and Diora Baird, so if you don’t feel like watching it then you can scroll through the following pages for screencaps. I get the clicks, you get the best parts without watching the video, everybody wins. [Funny or Die]
Great Moments in Dog Driving History. Not dog driving like cattle herding, but dogs driving as in dogs driving cars. It’s just as awesome as it sounds. [Uproxx]
Next Week on ‘The Killing.’ Holder and Linden trace Rosie’s death to the Seattle Seahawks. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
One man, 170 costumes. When a one-legged man found out his son’s school bus route went directly past their house, he decided to wear a different costume in front of the house every school day of the year. [Gamma Squad]
Luxury cat looks like Mythbuster. I knew I hated Jamie Hyneman’s face! [The Daily What and reddit]
Surf dogs! The best of the 2011 Coronado Bay Surf Dog Competition. Or as I call it, “Yay! Dogs on surfboards!” [With Leather]
Scene Breakdown: the Breaking Dawn trailer. I can’t wait for the Twilight series to be over, and for all the Twilight fans to die of diabetes. [FilmDrunk]
Internet History: Ron Swanson’s Love Affair with Meat. Very different from your mom’s. [Alex Leo]
YEEHAW CHURCH AND FAKE TITTIES! Watch the trailer for CMT’s new reality show, “Texas Women.” Why “Texas Women”? Because “Real Housewives of Texas” violates Bravo’s copyright. [Inside TV]
Come summer time, the only thing worth watching on the Big Four Networks is…when does football start again? Unless you’re a fan of reality shows and sitcoms that weren’t even good enough to make it on the midseason schedule, Fox, NBC, ABC, and CBS are all entertainment wastelands from June to August (the CW, too, but that’s year-round). Cable, on the other hand, is absolutely stacked, with both returning favorites (“Breaking Bad”!) and intriguing-sounding new shows (don’t make me regret calling you “intriguing,” “NTSF:SD:SUV”).
This is Warming Glow’s official summer TV preview, highlighting 25 shows, some great and some awful, but mostly somewhere in-between, that will keep you in the confines of your home instead of enjoying the warm weather and getting some much-needed exercise. (Also, before it’s brought up, “Beavis and Butthead” isn’t included because it doesn’t have an official premiere date yet.)
We’re still almost a month away from the Season 4 premiere of “True Blood,” and I’m already tired of all the promotion for the show. And you know what happens when I get bored: animals get Photoshopped into pictures.
Embedded below, you’ll find the first three minutes of the new season that was released through HBO Go, a scene so dull and preposterous — even for “True Blood” — that it seems like punishment for HBO Go subscribers. Sookie (Anna Paquin) is back in her little fairy world, and she bumps into the mind-reading guy she met in Dallas during Season 2, and then she hesitates to eat the glowing fruit and sees her grandpa Bill Lumberg. I am dumber for having watched it.
And just for good measure, I’ve also included the new posters for Season 4. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised to see that Lobster Dog, Fatcat, and Count Dogula have been added to the cast.
It’s that time of year again: late spring, when “True Blood” unleashes wave after wave of cast photos, behind-the-scenes looks, promo videos, featurettes, and guerrilla advertising in order to build buzz for the new season. Embedded below is the new trailer for Season 4, which — as we saw in the Season 4 tease — deals with witches and Anna Paquin’s continued butchery of a southern accent. There are other story lines as well: Vampire Bill seems to have a new job, shape-shifter Sam gets seduced by a spicy Latina, Jason is held captive, and Jessica’s boobs still look great. I predict that the new season will hold my attention for a solid four, maybe even five episodes. Depends on how much nudity there is.
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