Buckle your sweatpants, everybody, because this is the awesomest crime you’ll read about until someone burns down the old folks’ home. A group of nine women in Turkey who thought they were on a “Big Brother”-style show were actually just “conned into frolicking naked and engaging in cat fights” — photos of which were sold online.

A military police spokesman said the women – most of them models from the Mediterranean resort of Antalya and the Aegean port city of Izmir – had been held captive for around two months.

The women had responded to an advertisement looking for contestants for a reality show that was to be purportedly aired on a major Turkish television station. The group, including a teenager aged 15 or 16, were selected after being interviewed…

They were not abused or harassed sexually, but were told to wear skimpy bikinis, to dance by the swimming pool and were encouraged to get into fights with one another, reports said. [Telegraph]

Listen, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: duping women into imprisonment is WRONG, okay?  But c’mon: you have to admire the absolutely asteroid-sized BALLS it takes to do this. Because most men have had this thought before: “Man, wouldn’t it be awesome if I had a whole house full of models and just made them dance around in bikinis all day?” But nobody ever actually makes it happen. Well, except rappers. But their methods aren’t nearly as impressive.

So a priest, a rabbi, an imam, and a Buddhist monk walk into a room with 10 atheists… No, seriously.  It’s a new game show called “Penitents Compete” proposed by Turkish TV station Kanal T in which converts would win a trip to either the Vatican, Jerusalem, Mecca, or Tibet.  This sounds amazing to me.  Of course, if you can find something awesome, you can look outside and there’ll be religious people picketing:

But religious authorities in Muslim but secular Turkey are not amused by the twist on the popular reality game show format and the Religious Affairs Directorate is refusing to provide an imam for the show.

“Doing something like this for the sake of ratings is disrespectful to all religions. Religion should not be a subject for entertainment programs,” High Board of Religious Affairs Chairman Hamza Aktan said.

Yeah!  Making religion entertaining cheapens what religion’s all about: judging other people and bombing them for their beliefs.