The cast of "Terra Nova"

Terra Nova (FOX) – On a night where your Big Four options include “A Chipmunk Christmas,” repeats of “2 Broke Girls” and “Mike and Molly,” and an episode of “Fear Factor” called “Tall Crappaccino,” it might be worth checking out the (series?) finale of the all-style, no-substance “Terra Nova.” At least it’s got dinosaurs.

Who’s Still Standing? (NBC) – Based on an Israeli series, the Ben Bailey-hosted “Who’s Still Standing?” is another dumb game show where dumb people answer dumb questions to win large amounts of cash. If contestants get an answer wrong, they fall through a trap door on the floor. Where do they go?

Half-Ton Dad/Half-Ton Mom (OWN) – Fat people be fat in these repeats about a man who weighed 1,045 pounds and a woman, 880 pounds. Psh, women – always 16% percent behind men.

VH1 Divas Celebrates Soul (VH1) – Mary J. Blige, Kelly Clarkson, Jennifer Hudson, and Florence + the Machine, among others, act diva-like, while the Roots perform as the house band. Here’s a fun excerpt from Rolling Stone’s recent profile of drummer Questlove: “He says he’s on his way to a party and that everyone should come. But [Questlove] doesn’t know if he’s up for it; the party is at actress Alison Brie’s house, and [Questlove] has a major crush on her. ‘That girl is my Kryptonite,’ he says. ‘She’s gonna have me talking like Back to the Future: I’m your density.’ She’s been on “Fallon” before, but he was too nervous to talk to her.”

The Layover/Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations (Travel) – Double the Bourdain, with a new episode of “The Layover” set in Hong Kong and a repeat of last week’s “No Reservations” holiday special. Y’know the one featuring greatest-band-of-2011 Fu*ked Up singing “Jingle Bells,” but not the banned “Krampus” segment, about the mythical Alpine monster who kidnaps poorly-behaved children before Christmas to do…something with them. View it after the jump with your kids or nearby unsupervised children!

Late-Night Guests: Tom Cruise, Mitt Romney, and Anthony Hamilton on Letterman; Sandra Bullock, Diablo Cody, and Pink Martini on Leno; Regis Philbin and the Goo Goo Dolls on Ferguson; Jeremy Renner, Rooney Mara, Michael Lindsay-Hogg, and Caroline King on Fallon; and Elle Fanning, Seth MacFarlane, and Drake on Conan.

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Paula Abdul has lined up her first job since leaving “American Idol” because she genuinely believed she deserved to make $10 million a year to slur nonsense in a drugged-up haze.  There was talk of her being on “Dancing with the Stars” in some capacity, but that didn’t happen.  And ABC replaced her on “Ugly Betty” with an actual actress because she demanded a private jet.  And rumors of her going back to “Idol” were quickly denied by Fox, because Fox is crazy but it ain’t stupid.

Anyway, you’ll have the chance to see Paula on basic cable when she hosts VH1′s “Divas.”

VH1 is reviving the “Divas” brand after a four-year hiatus. Performers include Adele, Leona Lewis, Miley Cyrus and “Idol” winners Kelly Clarkson and Jordin Sparks… VH1 planned to announce the hire, but Abdul, true to form, leaked it on her Twitter account. “VH1 Divas” airs Thursday, Sept. 17. [THR]

I’m not being mean when I say Paula Abdul is absolutely horrible at what she does and shouldn’t be on television.  I’m just being honest.  I wouldn’t pay her $20 to wish my niece happy birthday at her birthday party.  She’s a GD train wreck crashing into a car wreck falling off a cliff and sinking a ship.  And that’s just not a safe thing to have at a children’s party.