The face of Spike TV, before reruns of CSI

Much like the claim that “Saturday Night Live” and “The Simpsons” aren’t as good as they used to be, complaining about MTV’s transition from round-the-clock music videos to “Jersey Shore” has gone from legitimate gripe to tired cliché. Yes, it kind of sucks, but networks have to evolve, and sometimes — often, actually — that can be a good thing (it can also be terrible, but usually, good!) Below are seven examples of major American channels that began as one idea before eventually changing into something completely different.

Don’t worry, it involves communists and boobs.

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Pictured here are Ashley Dupre, Heidi Montag, and Danielle Staub, who were photographed with Jake Pavelka in Los Angeles as cameras filmed them earlier this week. The photos sparked rumors that the Four Whores of the Apocalypse would soon ride across a barren TV hellscape with a new reality show, and I’m sad to share the news that the rumors are true. Thanks for nothing, VH1.

Jake Pavelka, Danielle Staub, Heidi Montag and other reality alumni are all going into the food business together for an upcoming series that places some big personalities under heavy pressure, PEOPLE has learned.

“They are revamping a restaurant from the ground up,” says a source on the set of the new reality series, slated to air on VH1. “They started shooting this past weekend.”

Ugh, I loathe these people with every fiber of my being. The only way these moronic jackasses could possibly have a successful restaurant is if they got a nice corner location and called it The Oldest Trade. And instead of a restaurant it was a whorehouse. And even then you’d need to keep Danielle Staub hidden behind something opaque.

“Hey, you know what would have made Goodfellas better? If it had been about Karen.” — Nobody

Below is a teaser trailer for VH1′s “Mob Wives,” a reality series about awful, botoxed shrikes fighting with each other that makes “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” look like “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.” I’m not exactly sure what that means, but what I’m trying to say is that “Mob Wives” looks like a gigantic piece of sh*t equipped with a car alarm: a huge, stinking turd that poisons the air with its stench and its blaring klaxon of shrieking haggard harpies. I absolutely cannot wait to never watch this.

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YES. The hate that I have for all of Bravo’s “Real Housewives” is now matched by my love for VH1′s “Love and Hip Hop,” which premieres next Monday. Jezebel says:

None of the women are actually married to rappers but are in various stages of unofficial commitment and divorce. Some of the women featured on the show are Emily Bustamante, Fabolous’ stylist/baby mama, Mashonda, ex-wife of Swizz Beatz (now married to Alicia Keys), and Chrissy Lampkin, longtime girlfriend of Jim Jones.

Aw, poor Mashonda. Her ex-husband traded up for one of the hottest, most talented women in hip hop, and she’s still Mashonda.

There’s plenty to love in the trailer below: catfights galore — not those weak-ass white-girl catfights, either — big boobs, and a lot of talk about TEH HAT0RZ. It’s everything that the “Real Housewives” should be.

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VH1 is presently casting for a reality series that will follow plus-sized party girls in Los Angeles. The casting agency behind it is Doron Ofir, the magnate responsible for finding the “Jersey Shore” guidos. From Pop Tarts:

VH1, in association with Doron Ofir Casting and Left Right Productions, is now casting “the hottest, most bodacious, voluptuous single women in Los Angeles” for a brand new docu-series that will show “a long-awaited glimpse into the ultra-fab world of big girls!”

Long-awaited by whom, exactly? “I love over-produced reality shows, but I’m mad there aren’t any about fat girls partying!”

“There have been shows to spotlight bigger women, but there has never been a show to celebrate being a woman in a body type that they are totally comfortable with,” casting agent Doron Ofir told us. “This is going to be the ‘Sex & the City’ from big girls’ perspectives.”

“It’s like ‘Sex and the City,’ but without a script or skinny women and set in LA instead of New York! So really, nothing like ‘Sex and the City’.”

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