After Paula Abdul stepped away from “American Idol” earlier this week, there was speculation whether the show would just eliminate the fourth judge position through attrition. But, no, the boat will not be rocked, and so the show is already going about having guest judges during the early audition process, which is really the only time the show is even marginally watchable to begin with.

Victoria Beckham and Katy Perry are booked, with other guest judges to be announced soon. “Idol” begins shooting audition episodes this week in Denver.

Asked if there’s any chance of Abdul returning, Rice replied, “Our understanding is … that we’ve concluded the negotiation.”

Added entertainment president Kevin Reilly, “She was the right person at the right time with chemistry — but under the heading of great producing. When shows are this successful, it’s very easy to take for granted the level of producing because things seem so seamless. I’m not saying it’s easy. You’re messing with chemistry that works, but that’s part of what top producers do. And we’re pretty confident they’re going to find that.”

“You hear that?! We’ll find whichever mindless cogs work best with the slew of easily replaceable commodities we already have in place. And when they’re gone, we’ll find some more. We could fill out the panel with nothing but overtly racist centaurs and no one would notice thanks to seamless to producing. Can you see the seams? NO ONE SEE THE SEAMS AND LIVES!”

I didn’t  realize she could speak: Victoria Beckham will voice a character for an episode of “SpongeBob Square Pants.”  Her character will be equipped with flotation devices. [Fancast]

Attention ladies: Jon Hamm is auctioning off lunch with him in Los Angeles to the highest bidder on eBay.  Rawr!  I know what I’d want for dessert!  Creme bruée.  It’s my favorite. [Jam]

Not TV-related but: I do love me a good cat video.  This one is kind of like Spy Vs. Spy except, y’know, with cats. [College Humor]

Wow, a newspaper selling ads?  The LA Times had a controversial Page 1 ad for “Southland” that was designed to look like a real news story.  I watched “Southland” last night, by the way.  Really pretty good.  The rookie cop character fits Benjamin McKenzie about 800 times better than Ryan from “The O.C.” [Franklin Avenue]

Less Eliza Dushku is bad for the world: Fox is cutting the first installment of “Dollhouse” from 13 episodes to 12.  I’m outraged!  …is what I would say if I watched it. [Televisionary]