NBC, which placed 8th in the ratings last Thursday during “The Firm” (behind even Univision) has picked up several new pilots in an effort to dig itself out of its years’ long hole. The spectrum ranges from “decent idea for a show that won’t be seen because it’s on NBC” to “bad idea for a show that won’t be seen because it’s on NBC.” What we can promise you is that if you eventually love the show, it will most certainly be under a perpetual threat of cancellation. These are, however, only pilot pick-ups, and there’s no guarantee any of them will make it to series. Here are the highlights:

Downwardly Mobile: Roseanne Barr will be making her return to scripted television as a character that sounds very similar to her character in “My Name is Earl.” She would be the “proprietor of a mobile home park and surrogate mother to all of the unique people who live there in a challenging economy.” How timely.

Friday Night Dinner: This one has the best prospects for being an actually good show, as it comes from Greg Daniels (“The Office,” “Parks and Recreation”) and it’s another remake of a British series, this one about “a quirky family that has dinner together every Friday night.” David Koechner is the leading contender for the role of the father, although he’s not really all that “quirky.” Goofy, maybe.

Jimmy Fallon Untitled Project: This one has lame written all over it: It’s a multi-camera sitcom (and thus, most likely a laugh-track show) about “three thirtysomething guys who enjoy the adventures of parenting despite the fact they haven’t grown up themselves.” Yeesh. Just what television needs: More man-children.

County: On the drama side, this one has everything going for it except its premise. One of the best showrunners on television, Jason Katims (“Friday Night Lights,” “Parenthood”) will pull Jason Ritter off of “Parenthood” for this … ugh … hospital drama about “a group of young doctors, nurses and administrators in a frenetic underfunded and morally compromising LA County Hospital.” Another hospital drama is the last thing network television needs, but Katims hasn’t steered us wrong yet.

Daddy’s Girl: “Daddy’s Girl” has a somewhat interesting premise that was the subject of a huge bidding war but that will undoubtedly run out of possibilities by the 11th episode. It’s about “a young woman who returns home from overseas to find her father is seriously dating the ‘mean girl’ from her high school.”

Go On: This one I doubt even moves beyond the pilot stage. It’s about “an irreverent yet charming sportscaster who tries to move on from loss and reluctantly finds surprising solace from the members of his mandatory group therapy sessions.” Nielsen Families hate “irreverent yet charming.”

Next Caller Please: This single-camera gender comedy focuses “on a brash alpha male DJ and his new, plucky, feminist co-host set in the offices of a satellite radio station.” I don’t know about the premise, but it does come from Stephen Falk, a writer on “Weeds” and a former recapper for TelevisionWithoutPity.com, so it’d get the benefit of the doubt.

Animal Kingdom: Basically, it’s Gregory House as a veterinarian. Pass.

(Source: Deadline)

News out of the TCA this week is that “How I Met Your Mother” — currently in its 7th season and contracted by CBS for eight — may actually extend beyond 2013, despite earlier suggestions that the sitcom would wrap up next year and the identity of Ted’s wife would be revealed. That’d be a lousy idea. Even if most of us have moved beyond caring about the show’s initial premise, eight seasons is enough. In fact, notwithstanding a number of great episodes over the last two years, five seasons probably would’ve been enough.

Nevertheless, despite record ratings, I doubt “HIMYM” will go beyond eight seasons anyhow: Jason Segel is a big Hollywood star now and probably has no desire to stick around; Cobie Smulders’ movie career may get a boost from The Avengers; Neil Patrick Harris probably has an awesome talk show in his future; and Josh Radnor has been expressing frustration with working on the sitcom for years now. Those guys don’t want to come back. If “HIMYM” were to stick around, it’d have to move ahead 20 years and replace Radnor with his voice over, Bob Saget. And then the show would really run off the rails.

But it wouldn’t be the first — or last — beloved show to do so. Here are ten other initially adored television shows that overstayed their welcomes.

Scrubs — One of my all-time favorite sitcoms, “Scrubs” wore out its welcome after its fifth season and 27th schedule change. Granted, it did bounce back with a fairly exceptional 8th season — its last with the regular cast — but to most minds it ruined even that with “Scrubs: The New Class” in its 9th season (I have a soft-spot for “Scrubs 2.0,” thanks largely to Eliza Coupe).

Roseanne — “Roseanne” also ran for nine seasons — from 1988 – 1997 — but far fewer people stuck around after John Goodman’s heart attack in the 8th season. Those who did were met a dreadful 9th season, in which the Connors supposedly won $108 million in the lottery only to find out that the entire season was a dream.

Smallville — The first few seasons of “Smallville” were outstanding, especially once they moved beyond the villain-of-the-week episodes and brought in the comic-book mythology. But the show began to falter around the fourth season, struggle after Clark Kent died, and downright suck after Lana Lane and Lex Luthor left the show after the seventh season. It would last another three, but very few were witness to those seasons.

Weeds — “Weeds” was an outstanding show right up until the end of Season Three, which is when it should’ve ended. Once the show left the suburbs, it lost the appeal of its premise: A suburban housewife forced to sell marijuana to support her children. It’s 7th season redeemed the last three seasons somewhat, but it’s still a shell of its former self.

Big Love: The drama centered around a polygamous Mormon family wore out its premise quickly. After Roman Grant died at the end of season three, “Big Love” lost its way, veering into complete stupidity when Bill — who had three and a half wives — began his run for Senate in the fourth season.

The Simpsons — Now in its 23rd season and approaching its 500th episode, “The Simpsons” still attracts a sizable number of viewers, but even those who still watch the show don’t actually care about it very much. They watch because it’s there, out of nostalgic affection, and because every great once in a while, a good episode will interrupt the flow of mediocrity.

Friends — For seven seasons, “Friends” withstood the will they/won’t they relationship of Ross and Rachel, but in the end, it was Monica and Chandler’s marriage that truly ruined the show for the remaining three seasons. Chandler — the show’s best character — became an emasculated sad sack; Joey’s only remaining personality trait was the ability to eat lots of sandwiches; and Ross morphed into a perpetual mope.

Dexter — “Dexter” peaked in its fourth season, and by all rights, should’ve ended with the Trinity Killer. Having just wrapped its sixth season, and renewed for two more, the show can’t get much worse than it did last year. There’s only so many times you can run the exact same season-long formula.

The Office — “The Office” suffered long before Michael Scott left. The show began its long descent into watchable mediocrity after Jim and Pam’s wedding. Now the show has no moral center; it’s just a collection of eccentric characters bouncing around one another with little rhyme or reason.

The X-Files — If the “X-Files” had wrapped up after five seasons, it would’ve gone down as one of the very best dramas of the last 20 years. But by year six, it became abundantly clear that the writers were making it up as they went along, and after David Duchovny left the show in the 7th season, the whole series went to sh*t. It wouldn’t completely bottom out until the end of season 9.

As “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” “Lost,” and countless other shows have proven, sometimes a character, often beloved, needs to die to advance the plot. And nothing furthers the story like death, unless you’re “The Killing.” On the following pages are ten characters who need to meet their maker, not because they’re bad characters (I repeat: these are NOT necessarily characters I want dead because I hate them), but because they’ve either served their purpose and need to go away or because their passing would bring on a whole new set of stories their show hasn’t been able to accomplish.

To death! The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.

Vincent Chase, “Entourage”

I’ve voiced my complaints about “Entourage’s” douchiness before, but all (well, most) of those could be redeemed if in the show’s final episode, its star, Vincent Chase, was killed, preferably by choking to death buried in a pile of cocaine. Wishful thinking, I know, but of its many faults, the most bothersome thing about “Entourage” is its lack of real-life consequences. Vincent and his gang of awful cronies can do whatever they want, whenever they want, without any repercussions. If the star of Aquaman were to die in the closing minutes of “Entourage”’s final episode, the entire show would feel less like 2,880 minutes of bros being bros, and more like a tragedy about what happens when fame goes to your head.

[Ed. note: I'd like to see Vince get killed immediately, as the other characters might actually become somewhat interesting if they had to strike out on their own.]

Dexter Morgan, “Dexter”

Dexter Morgan is one of only two good-to-great characters on the show bearing his name. The other: his sister, Debra. Let’s say the producers of “Dexter” decide to go off the air after season seven. In the final episode of the show’s upcoming sixth season, Deb should FINALLY catch Dexter in the act (and see him), but he runs away and skips town out of Miami. It’d be great if the final 12 episodes abandoned all the awful, awful humans at Miami Metro, and spent the entire season in a “Fugitive”-like chase between Deb and Dexter. In the last episode, she finds him, leaving her with a dilemma: she can’t throw him in jail, because that’s a lackluster ending (cough “Seinfeld” cough), and she can’t pretend nothing’s happened, because she’s a good cop. What’s left? Either we find out she too has been a good serial killer all these years, or she puts an end to Dexter’s butchering ways. (I know that Deb knows about her brother’s hobby in Jeff Lindsay’s books, but the show has gone off-text before.)

Betty Draper, “Mad Men”

There are many good potential death options for “Mad Men,” with everyone from Roger Sterling to Greg Harris (anyone but Don and Trudy, really) on the chopping block. But I think the strongest choice would be Betty — not because she’s a bad character, which she isn’t, or because she’s a bad actress, which she’s not (January Jones is icy, but so is Betty). It’s because her passing (car crash!) would further the story of one of the show’s best characters, Sally Draper. My friend has a theory that the reason Sally has been acting so weird of late is because she was molested by Grandpa Gene (as opposed to Baby Gene). If Sally, who’s already in a rough place in life, were to lose her mom, it’d be fascinating to see what the writers did with her—would she run away? Live with Don? Find the original Bobby?

The Bachelorette (ABC) — The conclusion of the two-part season finale. I haven’t seen a lick of this show, so I’ll just guess that a white lady in a $5,000 dress and hair extensions gives a white guy a flower and then everyone cries. Do I win? I think I win.

Hell’s Kitchen (FOX) — At this point, there’s not a jury in the land that would convict you if you bashed Gordon Ramsay in the head with a pineapple. That’s not legal advice. Just an observation.

Hoarders/Intervention (A&E) — I just want to remind all of you that “A&E” is short for “Arts and Entertainment.” I’m not sure which category addiction and debilitating mental conditions fall into, but I’ll let you know once I figure it out.

Rogue Sharks/Summer of the Shark (Discovery) — FACT: Every show title during Shark Week also works as a name for a metal band. I would buy a Rogue Sharks CD sound unheard.

Weeds (Showtime) — I haven’t seen any of this show either, so I’ll go with “A pretty lady sells drugs with her shirt off.” I won again, didn’t I? I’m good at this game.

Rizzoli & Isles (TNT) — TNT should do a “Rizzoli & Isles”/”Franklin & Bash” crossover arc where they do a bunch of stuff by their own rules and then bone.

Conan (TBS) — I’m giving this one it’s own slot instead of busting it down below because his guests are Harrison Ford (fresh off his trippy appearance on Letterman) and Marissa Miller (who wore this dress when she was on in November). OK!

LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Howel Mandel and the Bachelorette lady on Kimmel; James Franco and Diana Agron on Letterman; Ferguson’s in Paris so I’ll guess “a talking rat that can cook really well”; Ryan Reynolds on Leno; Lou Dobbs (?) on Fallon; Freida Pinto (!) on The Daily Show.

Weeds (Showtime) — Season 7 premiere. Before the new story can get in underway in New York, Mary-Louise Parker begins the season in prison, while hurj sjbhfail hsfkhn  fif sa. Whoa, sorry. I drifted off into a daydream about being Mary-Louise Parker’s prison guard. (high-res of the banner image available here)

The Big C (Showtime) — Season 2 premiere. Laura Linney still has cancer.

Law & Order: LA (NBC) — Bob Saget guest stars as a “seedy porn producer,” according to Yahoo. As opposed to the legions of porn producers who are not seedy. And if you think that I don’t have more jokes about “seed” and “porn,” you are woefully mistaken.

MasterChef (Fox) — Only 15 chefs remain. Or it 30?

Teen Wolf (MTV) — A bloody body is discovered in a video store. Also discovered: a video store.

The Bachelorette (ABC) — Reviled contestant Bentley returns to the show to boost ratings and toy with Ashley’s emotions. Note to prospective parents: you should only name your child “Bentley” if it’s a girl and you want her to become a stripper.

Okay, we’ve got some Cliffs Notes for those of you who just ordered premium cable and want to spend your summer inside watching new seasons of shows you’re behind on. Above is a five-minute summary of the first three seasons of “True Blood,” and below is six seasons of “Weeds” recapped in two minutes. I definitely appreciate and prefer the economy of the “Weeds” video, but it’s animated instead of live-action, thus robbing me of the one thing I might watch for: Mary-Louise Parker’s luscious body of work as an actress.

So “True Blood” gets the top billing. Obviously, all of the good (read: naked) parts didn’t make the cut, but it’s a nice way to catch up if you watch the show like I do: while paying attention to something else until people start having sex or getting murdered.

We miss you, Holy Bathtub Handjob Girl

["Weeds" video via Vulture]

It's almost back, you guys.

Come summer time, the only thing worth watching on the Big Four Networks is…when does football start again? Unless you’re a fan of reality shows and sitcoms that weren’t even good enough to make it on the midseason schedule, Fox, NBC, ABC, and CBS are all entertainment wastelands from June to August (the CW, too, but that’s year-round). Cable, on the other hand, is absolutely stacked, with both returning favorites (“Breaking Bad”!) and intriguing-sounding new shows (don’t make me regret calling you “intriguing,” “NTSF:SD:SUV”).

This is Warming Glow’s official summer TV preview, highlighting 25 shows, some great and some awful, but mostly somewhere in-between, that will keep you in the confines of your home instead of enjoying the warm weather and getting some much-needed exercise. (Also, before it’s brought up, “Beavis and Butthead” isn’t included because it doesn’t have an official premiere date yet.)

“Franklin & Bash” (TNT, June 1)

I’m looking forward to “Franklin & Bash” (it’s like the male version of “Rizzoli & Isles,” which returns July 11, FYI) because I’ll finally have a good reason for disliking Breckin Meyer. For years, the star of Road Trip and “Inside Schwartz” has bugged me, even though he’s in two shows I really like, “Robot Chicken” and “King of the Hill,” just because he looks so punchable. But now, when “Franklin & Bash” — about two “hotshot lawyers” played by Meyer and Mark-Paul Gosselaar, who presumably don’t play by the rules — premieres, I’ll have visual proof of why I dislike Breckin Meyer. Hopefully the world follows suit.

“Men of a Certain Age” (TNT, June 1)

Really, it’s good! I hate “Everybody Loves Raymond,” too, and think that Major League: Back to the Minors is the one weak spot in the otherwise perfect Major League trilogy (I have no previous grudge against you, Andre Braugher), but “Men of a Certain Age” is a great summer stay-at-home show. It’s easy to find yourself watching multiple episodes at a time, and Braugher, Ray Romano, and Scott Bakula (Dr. Beckett/Captain Archer!) have convincing chemistry between them. Although I can’t decide if “Men” makes me happy to be 23 years old or sad that I’m not in my 40s, I still suggest giving the show a chance.

“Childrens Hospital” (Adult Swim, June 2)

Rob Corddry, Megan Mullally, Rob Huebel, Ken Marino, Erinn Hayes, Lake Bell, Michael Cera, Henry Winkler, Malin Akerman, Nick Offerman, David Wain, Nick Kroll, Ed Helms, Jason Sudeikis, Joe Lo Truglio, Lizzy Caplan, Jon Hamm…the number of insanely funny people who have appeared on “Childrens Hospital” isn’t fair to other shows; they’re hogging all the talent. Season 3 begins at the very DVR-able time of midnight.

“Love Bites” (NBC, June 2)

Dead before it even aired, the hour-long comedy (uh oh) “Love Bites” was supposed to air in the fall of 2010. But a slew of behind-the-camera changes—like actress Becki Newton getting pregnant, even though her character on the show is a virgin, and Jordana Spiro fleeing back to her other, more successful show, “My Boys”—pushed “Love” back to midseason, then the summer, where it has a decreased episode count, from 13 to 9. Newton has already been cast on another pilot, so “Love Bites” is all set to be a trivia answer to a question no one ever asks.

“The Glades” (A&E, June 5)

Like “Dexter,” but for stupid(er?) people.

Although I don’t really watch “Weeds,” it remains one of the most important shows on television because it gives Mary-Louise Parker a starring role in which she occasionally gets naked. My God, she’s fantastic. I can’t look at her without wanting to punch Billy Crudup in the face.

Anyway, here’s the new promotional artwork for Season 7 (click below for full version), which shows Parker’s Nancy Botwin as a magician’s assistant in chains, presumably because she was arrested at the end of last season and possibly primed for an escape in this coming one. The fact that I’ve always wanted a picture of her chained up in a trunk is probably just a coincidence.

[EW]

It’s that time when we review the year through the prism of top ten lists, and Mr. Skin — possibly the most overhyped, annoying subscription site on the Internet — has released his top ten nude scenes for 2010 (NSFW). Fortunately for us, three of them come from television: Mary-Louise Parker’s belt-whipping railing from Mark-Paul Gosselaar on “Weeds” (#7), Rebecca Creskoff’s casual full-frontal scene in “Hung” (#6), and Paz de la Huerta’s everything all the time in “Boardwalk Empire” (#3, NSFW GIFs here).

As delightful as all of those scenes are, I think I might enjoy Mr. Skin’s copy even more:

#7 Mary-Louise gets a meat bong from behind in her most smoking sex session to date on Showtime’s potent pot-com. You’ll get high… in your pants.
#3 Latin lustbomb Paz couldn’t stop going off, getting off, or taking all her clothes off. She got so nude so often, it’s skin-possible to pick just one nude scene. So check out her perfect two.

With dry, cool wit like that, Mr. Skin could be an action hero.

Anyway, because subscription-based websites are for suckers, you can see high resolution NSFW screencaps of all the scenes over at Celebslam. Fun facts: two of the scenes feature belt-whipping, four involve water, at least three reveal bush, and two feature a pair of women. Now that’s what I call “sta-TIT-stics”! (With dry, cool wit like that, I could write for Mr. Skin.)

This is how Batman fan fiction happens.

Weeds (Showtime) — Season finale. I’m not in the habit of watching Showtime’s programming — it’s a blind spot, I admit — but I’ve heard that this season has been a marked improvement over the downward spiral of the preceding seasons. At the very least, Mary-Louise Parker and Mark-Paul Gosselaar gave us the best TV sex scene in recent memory. Followed by: season finale for The Big C.

Town Hall on Immigration (MSNBC) — Just thinking about watching people argue about immigration policy makes my eyelid twitch. Whoever chooses to watch this is a sick f*ck.

Dancing with the Stars (ABC) — Bristol Palin has gone from “moronic but do-able MILF” to “JESUS CHRIST HOW DID SHE GET THIS FAR? SOMEONE STOP THIS MADNESS.” She gets it from her mother.

How I Met Your Mother (CBS) — I used to occasionally watch this because Neil Patrick Harris is fantastic and everyone else in the cast (minus the main character) is pretty solid, too. But CBS’s recent dedication to only making the most rote and predictable sitcoms has ensured that I’m never watching the network unless there’s an NFL game on. And even then, it’s likely that Dan Dierdorf is making me want to throw something at the TV set.

Monday Night Football (ESPN) — Speaking of the NFL, the Redskins host the Eagles on the same day that Washington signed Philly castoff Donovan McNabb to a five-year extension with $40 million guaranteed. Two weeks after he was benched against the Lions. Money well spent, Dan Snyder. (KSK live blog here)