When the Japanese aren’t busy stacking food on their pets, they’re usually doing some other combination of insane and adorable, and this pet penguin is no exception. Lala the king penguin lives with a family in Japan, and he wears a little penguin backpack on his trips to the fish market. Awwwww, that’s adorable! Did you see the way the Antarctic bird is living in an air-conditioned room under the stairs in a hot and humid city?

Of course, there haven’t been any new episodes of “Real TV” since 2001, so even though this video is new to the Internet, Lala may very well be dead. Settle down, settle down — king penguins live 30 years, so I’m sure he’s fine. But you never know with Japan. Japanese men get erections from killing dolphins, so I don’t see what makes a penguin so valuable. The only thing Japan loves more than cute things is killing cute things for sexual release. I hear they slaughter entire litters of Golden Retriever puppies in Tokyo. It’s the hottest orgy in town.

[BuzzFeed]

Here’s video of WGN (of Chicago, duh) sports anchor Pat Tomasulo dunking on a small child and then taunting him until he cries (via Mouthpiece Sports).  It is an absolute delight to watch.  In the course of a minute, he transitions from yelling “You don’t have any game, Tyler!” to a halfhearted apology before saying, “Actually, that felt GREAT.   I felt so powerful!”

All of that seems par for the course for Tomasulo, who also does humorous investigative news skits in a series called “The Pat Down.”  In the video after the jump, he goes after people who talk on bluetooths (blueteeth?) and send text messages while walking.  It’s not quite as good as most “Daily Show” segments, but then what does YOUR local sports anchor do in his free time?  Here in New York, Mike Francesca just sits in a recliner, sweating while he labors to breathe.

Side note: everyone at WGN News is pretty cool.

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Many of you are likely familiar with WGN’s 2007 interview with Tracy Morgan (video after the jump) in which the “30 Rock” actor loses his shirt, riffs on Star Jones and Oprah, and climbs on top of the news desk and impersonates a pregnant woman.  It’s pretty much the reason the Internet was invented, aside from porn and LOLcats.

In a cool little twist that proves intentional real-life Tracy Morgan and his character Tracy Jordan are exactly the same person, WGN confirmed to Chicagoist that the clip will be used in the April 23rd episode of “30 Rock.”  I think it’s amazing the way one person’s genuine insanity can fuel the success of a show.  Now if only science can harvest the crazy to power our cars!  We’d get 30 miles per hijink!

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